#And I'm super proud of you for getting that job please keep doing your best dear <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[coffinsister]

Julia trying to decide on what kind of cards and candy to get Andrew and Ashley? That or Andrew trying to make a bunch of anonymous cards for his sister without getting found out.

-Solace

I chose the first prompt! Because Andrew giving his sister anonymous letters is already an internal part of my other fics. I hope you enjoy it, love.

Julia just wanted to get along with her boyfriend's little sister again. Honest!

Somehow, she wasn't expecting the holiday to be so nerve-wracking, but here she was!

Julia stood in front of the chocolate store, she had never been at at such a fancy one before. Her lips pursed together in a wobbly line.

She kept fidgeting with her long bangs, usually she didn't mind then, Julia could see just fine through them.

But right now.

Right now, it was like she couldn't see anything.

And she was sure she had been standing outside of the store looking in for way too long already.

And she didn't know if actually going in would be more awkward, than not going in by now. Julia sighed.

In reality, Julia already knew what she wanted to pick.

How could she not, when it was this on the nose? The two little rabbits made out of chocolate were right there.

And granted, she could admit she hadn't been the closest friend to Ashley, granted, Ashley didn't really have any friends, and granted, their friendship had started because Andrew had asked her, and her own best friend, to sit together with his little sister.

But still.

Julia had seen Ashley's little doodles during class, back when they still had classes together that is.

So Julia knew at least a few things that Ashley liked.

Such as her brother, her choker, doodling, and doodling rabbits. She felt a pang of guilt.

Because she didn't really know anything else about Ashley, did she? A pang of guilt like a needle poking at her ribcage.

“Well… nobody can say I didn't try.”

Julia muttered to herself, her eyes travelling towards the other chocolate boxes.

It's not like Ashley had tried to get close with her either. Julia had actually made an effort at the start.

She had asked Andrew to bring his sister along to their dates, she had tried to speak to Ashley, invited her over to their dorm.

But Julia wasn't the best at socializing, and she had the feeling that even if she were the best at it, Ashley still wouldn't like her.

Julia bit the inside of her cheek.

Her mouth was filled with little scar marks from her bad habits. She couldn't help but bite whenever she got anxious.

And Julia couldn't help but get anxious, whenever she remembered their times together. It has ingrained itself into her brain.

How dead Ashley looked whenever Andrew wasn't paying attention to her.

Julia thought: Ashley was actually pretty much the same as she was, back when they were both children.

Ashley had this particular way about her.

Her arms would raise, and she would squish her nose like a bunny, and her eyes would get all teary and red.

Like a child about to throw herself to the ground, and get into a tantrum.

It made Julia feel a little guilty, because Ashley always showed her that face, whenever she showed up at their apartment’s street, and took Andrew out, with her, somewhere.

She had the feeling that Ashley disliked herself too much, to allow anybody else to like her, and as Julia didn't favour herself a full-time martyr just yet, their relationship didn't go anywhere.

It's not like she was going to keep him forever! Just a few hours, a couple days a week.

She would have been satisfied with just that. Hell, she would have been satisfied with even less than that.

Julia looked away from the chocolate boxes.

Her sister had called her a wuss far too many times before. And Julia was starting to dread her sister was right.

She moved her bangs away from her face a final time, and then they fell right back on top of her face.

“Mhhhm” She closed her eyes and garnered up all her bravery.

Julia wondered if she could wrap them up with pink and green ribbons. 

She opened her eyes “Ah…” And walked into the store.

Might as well get it done with already right.

Julia made a quick bee-line towards the bunnies encapsulated in plastic, she awkwardly stood in line, constantly reminding herself that nothing was actually happening, and the world wasn't actually ending.

After a little while she paid, and left.

Julia walked through the streets of their shitty middle of nowhere town, and thought, if nobody spoke to her, she probably wouldn't speak ever again.

She made a left, and went into the same stationary store, she and her sister had been going to since they were little kids.

Julia quickly scanned the options with her eyes, but she already knew exactly what she was going to choose.

Those thin shiny ribbon strands, of look-at-me pink, and green, hanging together in the very back of the wall.

“Those ones please… Yes, just a half a meter. I need a tiny plastic bag too” Julia pointed at them, while keeping her gaze fixated on the register's glass table.

Julia searched with her eyes “And, uhmm… Do you have any tiny gift bags?”

The clerk showed her their selection, and she picked the little black and white pouch. Julia found that what the Graves Siblings liked, was actually oddly predictable.

What they didn't like seemed to be the hard part for her to guess.

She grabbed the bag and the ribbons, paid with a few loose coins, and left.

Julia already knew there was a little street bench she could use nearby, so she quickly made her way over there, and sat down.

She placed the open pouch on her lap, and with as much love and care as she could, took both of the chocolate bunnies out of their enclosure.

She hadn't realized they were melted together in the back.

“Isn't that fitting?” Julia supposed she sounded bitter, but her face was smiling.

Maybe, Andrew and Ashley would have to break them to eat them, but Julia decided to let them be stuck together.

Carefully she grabbed the green ribbon, and placed it on the taller bunny's neck.

She spun it around, one two three times, until she felt satisfied with the look of it.

Then Julia did the same with the pink ribbon to the smaller bunny.

There was a small side of Julia that was sure, nobody had ever been this gentle with Ashley before.

She felt a little sad, as she placed them inside the darkness of the pouch together, but at least they had each other, right.

And maybe she should have done this before today, but, she hadn't felt like it.

Procrastination was a sign of anxiety, or something like that, right?

Julia decided it was best not to tell them that.

She quickly stood up, and made her way to their apartment. 

Julia absentmindedly remembered her sister's voice, telling her her boyfriend should have been the one coming to her, and not the other way around.

“...Who cares?” 

She kept her gaze fixed on the ground, looking at the cracks on the pavement, and at those little bits of rock that seemed to shine for no reason.

She stopped in automatic in front of their building. 

Julia recognized it from the one time she had visited it with Andrew before dating, and for the myriad of times she had rejected coming here with Ashley.

There was something deeply scary to little girl her, about whatever was living together, with little girl Ashley.

But now, it felt almost reassuring, because if Andrew had invited her back here, even after the disaster that had been her first visit to his apartment, then surely some improvement there must have been, right

Hopefully.

Julia looked up, and for a second, she felt the back of her hairs stand up, as if she were a cat.

There, right above her, was Ashley peeking through their balcony.

Ashley waved, her mouth was pursed into a tight line, and the movement was oddly stiff, but Julia was pretty sure it was a wave. 

Julia shily waved back, Ashley looked taken back for a moment. It made her wince. And just as mysteriously as she had appeared, Ashley disappeared back into her apartment. 

Julia nodded to herself, her resolve to get up there, and hand Ashley her chocolate bunny grew stronger, and more defined. 

She went up the stairs, all the way to the Graves’s floor. She knocked on their door, trying to ignore the obvious spots of humidity on it.

“Hey, Julia” Andrew opened the door, and invited her inside.

“Hi, Andrew” Julia tried to smile through her anxiety.

“You” Ashley said, walking from their balcony towards the entrance door.

“Me!”

Andrew already looked tense. He began “I was thinking-”

Julia was going to have to interrupt him, she felt bad, but if she didn't do it now, it was never going to get done.

The words exploded out of Julia’s mouth “I'm sorry, Andrew, I don't want to be rude, but here you go!”

And she opened the little black and white pouch to reveal the duet of chocolate bunnies. 

“Wait, you got me something too?”

“Wait, you got her something too?”

Okay, not exactly the reactions Julia was hoping to get, after she presented them with her little gift, but hey, it was better than nothing, right.

Ashley got the bunnies out of the bag. She held onto it with her left one, and on the right she latched onto the chocolates.

Ashley held onto their gift with gripped hands, the bones in her hands showing through her paper white skin, like she was afraid somebody was going to take it away from her.

“It’s my gift too, Ashley” Andrew said, he had this tone of voice, like he was warning his sister of something “At least let me look at it too…”

Ashley turned to look at him, her grip tensed once more before she finally released “Fine.”

She handed it over to Andrew, Julia had found she could seldomly read Andrew's expressions, even when he was distant, even when he wasn't, whatever was actually going through her boyfriend’s mind was mostly a mystery to her. 

“Thank you for the gift, Julia” But her stomach still went wild with butterflies, and something akin to the anxiety of a panic attack, whenever he smiled at her like that.

So it was all worth it, really.  

Life was usually boring, and gray, and more miserable than not. So Julia thought, she deserved to feel alive too sometimes. 

She made sure her sleeves weren't slipping too low down her arms, Ashley gave her that look that let her know, she Knew. 

Julia gave both of the siblings a tentative smile “So did you like them? They reminded me of you guys when I saw them, soo…  thought it would be a nice idea! Look, even the ribbons match you guys’s eyecolours.”

Andrew opened his mouth, but as Julia had gotten rather used to, Ashley shouted something in his place.

“Of course they look cute! They look like me!” And she unceremoniously bit an ear off the green rabbit. 

“You little shit! That was my gift” Andrew ripped the bunnies out of Ashley's hands, and bit the head off the pink one, leaving barely anything for the ribbon to keep clinging to.

Ashley dramatically gasped “You monster!”

And before Andrew could retort, Julia’s laughter was already filling up every brim and corner of their tiny and moldy apartment.

“What are you laughing at!?” Ashley turned to yell at her.

Julia felt her face and hands getting cold, oh she must have done something wrong here, but still, she couldn't stop laughing.

She choked out, between ragged breaths, and giggles “I'm sorry- I'm sorry-! You guys are so funny, I'm sorry!”

Ashley eyed her weirdly, putting both hands on her hips “Amused, are we?”

“Ashley…” That tone of warning on Andrew's tongue once more.

“You know, I might have something for you too. It’s in our room” Ashley practically barked out her words, and Julia felt like a tiny cornered mouse all over again.

Ashley scarcely made her way towards the siblings’s shared room.

Juliad watched her disappear. She had always been told she looked too tense, too scared, too unaware, like she was expecting a piano to fall from the sky and hit her some day, any day.

Julia couldn't understand how to not look like that, she couldn't really remember a time she didn't look like that. Childhood was blurry, amongst many other things. 

“Ah!” She squeaked.

Julia was pulled out of her black-void spacing out, by a big and reassuring, but deadly cold hand on her shoulder, right above her pointy bones.

“Don't be scared” Andrew told her with a warm smile on his lips “That's just Ashley's unnecessarily convoluted way of inviting you to our room.”

“Ah!” Julia perked up. This was the farthest she had ever gotten with Ashley “Really?”

“Would I ever lie to you?” Andrew made a show of dramatically placing his right hand on top of his heart, his left hand abandoning her arm, to be held up beside his face instead.

“Would you?” Julia poked her tongue out at him, and grabbed onto the sleeve of his sweater.

Julia had always appreciated that Andrew didn't question her, about why she jumped at every sudden noise, or why she began trembling, and got lightheaded, whenever a random person approached her.

She couldn't quite figure out if he understood her, sometimes she felt like he did, sometimes she felt wholly distant from him, but Julia felt accepted by Andrew, and that was far more than she had ever dared ask for. 

“Would I?” He grinned at her.

Andrew's eyes went to his right, from just the corner of his eyes, and in what was too calculated of a move, to be just a spur of the moment thing, he leaned down and placed a kiss on her right temple.

Julia felt her face go red hot in embarrassment.  

Andrew quickly parted from her.

“Let's hurry. You know… how Ashley gets.”

“Ye-yes” She nodded, passing her fingers through her collarbones. The evening was going so well, she didn't want to ruin it last second.

Andrew nodded at her, and Julia nodded back. 

They quickly made their way towards Ashley.

Honestly, Julia didn't know what was so weird about sharing a room with your sibling when you lived in such a tiny apartment, but her own sister was always complaining about it 

They were greeted by Ashley once they finally passed the threshold.

Ashley was sitting like a lotus flower on top of Andrew’s bed, her mouth in a flat line, she looked as unimpressed as one could be “Taking your sweet time, were you, Andy?” 

Julia pursed her lips.

“Don't call me that, Ashley.” Julia could have sworn she heard her boyfriend growling under his breath. 

There was something to be said, about how his sister seemed to be the only one capable of eliciting such a response out of him.

“Hmmp” Ashley rolled her eyes “Whatever. Andrew.” She stood up from the bed. 

Ashley walked over to the little desk they had pinned against the wall.

Julia took a second to look at it. It was a little cute, how obvious everything in this room was. 

On top of the table were Andrew's, very repetitive, and very thick, Sociology books (Julia had asked to see them once, he had complied, and once had been enough) and by their side, a bunch of little, obviously hand-made, Valentine’s cards, littered with crayon drawings and little bunny stickers.

Ashley opened the little drawer and quickly grabbed a piece of paper from the inside.

“Here” She shoved it into Julia’s unprepared hands “You get one of my original masterpieces, aren't you such a lucky one?”

Julia enthusiastically nodded along, she thought she looked kinda stupid, but she didn't really know how else to signal she was paying attention.

Ashley placed her hand on top of her lips “Yeah, you better appreciate it, you know, there's only two people in the whole world who possess one of my masterpieces. You are the second, look at you go, Jewels.”

Julia had only once asked Ashley why she called her Jewels, apparently it was because it sounded like Jules, nobody had ever called her Jules, at all, but she accepted it. 

“And the other person is me” Andrew said, giving his sister a blank stare “Highly exclusive club, truly.”

“Ah…” Julia finally gave herself a moment to look at her newly acquired gift. 

It was an old, crumpled up piece of paper, surely belonging to a very old notebook Ashley or Andrew had once owned. 

The date scribbled on top with black crayon, was Valentine's Day, of a decade ago, and below it, what she could only assume was Leyley's rendition of herself, Julia, and Andrew.

A big yellow heart next to Jiulia, an even bigger one next to Andrew, and no hearts for little Leyley.

There was a big tear in the paper.

Suddenly the memories came flooding in. 

Of all the times Ashley had asked her to come to their place to hang out, and how she had rejected her, every single time, each time with a different and new, infallible, excuse. 

Of how Valentine’s had been the last time Ashley had even attempted to ask.

Julia felt her eyes get watery, and the bridge of her nose tensing, and- 

No.

Julia refused to ever cry in front of Ashley again. 

Ashley would not let her live it down ever, and she did not want Andrew seeing her in such a state, while in front of his sister, Julia had this fear, that he wouldn't pick her over Ashley even in those moments. 

Julia held the paper, as delicately as she possibly could.

“Thank you, Ashley” Were those the right words to say right now, probably not, Julia never knew what the right words to say ever were “I didn't think, you would still have things from this long ago.”

Andrew sighed “You wouldn't believe the trash she clings to.”

“Bite me, Andrew” Ashley sat back in the bed, both her arms crossed over her chest.

The atmosphere was awkward, or maybe it was Julia who felt tension in everything, she had never been able to tell.

But she gulped down, and decided to make the extra effort. Julia found herself subconsciously reaching for Andrew's sleeve, like a little girl who needed help to cross the scary street, then she took two steps forward, with Andrew behind her, and she sat down on his bed.

Ashley stared at them with distrusting eyes, Andrew looked nervous too, but he sat down together with her.

This bed was definitely too small for three people. Julia felt it was kinda small for any boy over the age of 12, but she wasn't going to get into that right now, just the thought of Andrew's terrible parents made her want to scoff. 

Up close, Julia realized Ashley had backed herself into a corner, there was more space, even if just a little, but she was huddled against the wall.

Julia breathed, and huddled in closer to the wall in solidarity. 

Ashley looked at her like she had grown a third eye all of a sudden.

Ashley had always looked at her like this, even when they had been little, and Andy had asked them to sit together with his little sister during lunch time.

Ashley had always looked like she didn't believe anybody wanted to be near her, and thinking back on the drawing she had just received, Julia supposed she really couldn't blame her. 

Julia looked down at the drawing again, and bit the insides of her cheek so hard they bled.

“So, do you actually like drawing?” The question fell out of her mouth.

“Eh?” Ashley's mouth opened. She looked like she was expecting to get hit more than asked anything.  

“I mean, do you actually enjoy it, like as a hobby, or is it just for the Holiday?” Julia wasn't going to back down, she was genuinely interested here.

“I” Ashley looked to her brother, she reminded Julia of a lost puppy,  “...I do. It’s fun. And I’m great at it, as you can obviously see.”

The attempts at boosting fell flat, but Julia still smiled. 

This was definitely the farthest she had ever gotten with Ashley.

Julia accommodated her posture on the tiny bed, shifting just that little bit closer to Ashley's side.

“I like how the crayons look!” And it was true “Do you also use different things?” Julia didn't know much about art, but she could at least try to be earnest, with what little she did understand.

“Auhmm” Ashley looked to the side “I use these things made out of what the pencil tips are made of, and I erase around them-”

“You are so bad at explaining. I'm just gonna show it to Julia” Andrew said, standing up from his bed.

And all of sudden, she was getting a run down of almost -There were some older drawings Andrew didn't want her to see, for some reason- all of Ashley's drawings. 

And time moved by so quickly. 

They sat together on Andrew's tidy bed, which somehow kept getting messier and messier with each hour passed, and at some point it turned into 2AM, and Julia didn't even know how she had felt so welcomed, to spend an entire evening and night at their place.

She looked at Andrew, and for once, she felt confident enough to guess something about him; In this case, that he definitely did not want to walk her back home at 2AM.

Julia turned to Ashley by her left “I remember” She began quietly, Julia felt like she was confessing a secret “That when you drew this you invited me to a sleepover with you, and I said no. Could I take it back now?”

“Now? 12 years later?” Ashley almost looked impressed.

“Yes. Tonight, actually.”

Ashley and Andrew shared a look. Julia arrived at the conclusion, that she would never know anybody who could read her mind like that.

Then Ashley turned her focus back to her.

“...”

“Yeah”

She smiled.

Julia shared a furtive smile with Andrew too.

“Lucky you, Andrew” Ashley said “You won't have to walk her back home at 2 in the morning, and get jumped by a drunk guy in the middle of the street.”

Andrew stretched like a relaxed cat “Lucky me indeed, Ashley.”

Somehow, the atmosphere didn't feel so tense anymore, and Julia felt like her head was finally above water level for the first time in her life. 

They only fell asleep after 6AM, and Julia only got back to her place until after 2PM.

Julia felt entirely self-satisfied. 

Maybe this holiday wasn't so bad after all.

[storiesofsvu]

Decadent Desires Ch 21

Emily Prentiss x reader Warnings; language, minor alcohol, minor anxiety/worry but it's all fluff otherwise. 3k. Wow. We're finally here. It lowkey feels super surreal. The passage of time is wild and I don't remember when I started writing this fic, though I know I had a lot of it written before I started posting so that likely makes it seem longer. When it all comes down to it, this is one of my favourite fics that I've written. I'm proud of it. I'm incredibly thankful to everyone who's been reading it, reblogging and commenting, you are all wonderful and amazing. Stay tuned for plenty more one shots and lots of fun with our favourite characters in the future! Don't wanna miss a fic? Sign up for taglist here! Liked the story? Send me a ko-fi!

Now that you’ve finished the fic please feel free to head into my inbox & leave a legit honest review!! It helps me know what y’all like, what you didn’t like & how to improve future writing both here & elsewhere! 😘🩷

To say that Emily’s mind was not focused over the next twenty four hours would have been an understatement. She knew that dinner was occupying her thoughts, trying to think of the best way to get her words out without fumbling all over them or saying the wrong thing. She almost considered practicing by writing them down, having a speech ready to go if she forgot what she was supposed to be saying. She started to wonder if that alone was enough, if words would be strong enough to win you over or if she needed to stop for flowers, dessert or even something fancier on the way over to your place.

She thought she was doing a decent job of keeping it under wraps while at work until Tara asked what break in the case her and DiNozzo had discovered. When Emily’s brow furrowed the other woman pointed out Tony had been in her office for nearly an hour, the two of them involved in a deep conversation and she could only assume they’d discovered something. Emily’s cheeks burned as she bluffed the best reasoning she could think of before excusing herself back to her office. While the case had been the original reason Tony popped into her office, she’d roped him in to staying, saying he was the king of all movies and tropes, wondering if maybe now was the time for some grand gesture.

He'd shot that idea down, which is why she was pulling up to your place empty handed except for a bottle of wine. The biggest grand gesture she was planning was to greet you with a kiss neither of you would be able to forget. Her heart thudded against her rib cage as she waited for the elevator, letting out a breath in an attempt to relax herself the best she could, a kiss was a kiss, the worst thing that could happen was that you wouldn’t read into it the way she did.

You swung the door open, a soft smile on your cheeks as you stepped back to let her into your apartment. Her hand quickly found your waist but any and all plans she had immediately fell out the window at the hesitancy and anxiety wafting off you and vibrating through the air. She could tell your shoulders were tensed, and you didn’t melt into her embrace the way you normally did, so she settled for a kiss on the cheek as per your usual greeting, following you into the kitchen as she passed off the bottle of wine.

“I’ve got a white open if you want to start with that?” You offered, tucking the bottle she’d brought into the fridge and she nodded.

“Yeah, that’s perfect.” She smiled softly at you, watching you pull down a glass to fill for her, adding in a couple of ice cubes just as she liked it.

“How’s the case?” You asked, picking up your own wine as you leant against the island across from her, “Tony mentioned it was still pretty dead ended, I was kinda surprised you had time to make it tonight.”

“It’s a case.” She shrugged, “there’s only so much we can do right now. Figured it was best to let everyone have the night off, come back clear headed tomorrow.”

As her eyes swept through the kitchen she felt her own anxiety beginning to settle into her bones, her heart still strumming faster than usual in her chest. You had made the plan to stay in for dinner, so she wasn’t confused over your very casual attire of pyjama shorts and a cardigan, but aside from the wine bottle, there was no sign of intending to host tonight.

“Bummer.” You let out a sigh as you took a sip of wine, catching the way Emily nearly jumped at the sound of your voice, her jaw tightening and you were quick to finish you sentence, “about the case! Not that you had time to come over. That’s good, I’m glad. I just uh..” you let out an awkward laugh she wasn’t used to hearing, “didn’t want to make it sound like I was happy there was some psycho killer still out there.”

It was Emily’s turn to chuckle, taking another large sip of her drink, “no, I get it, it’s a tricky line to walk…”

Her accidentally chosen words hung heavily in the air, weighing down on both of you as you let out a quiet hum, staring over her shoulder, your wine glass in front of your face. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest so heavily you were almost certain Emily could hear it or at least could see the way the pulse point in your neck was jumping. It was part of the reason you’d pulled away so quickly at the front door, you didn’t want her to be able to feel it, or your clammy hands, she didn’t need to know you were nervous.

“Hey…” you were almost certain your voice cracked, “I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.”

Her face shot up, trying to control the expression written across it when she finally caught your eye, “oh, yeah. Me too, but you first.”

You downed the rest of your wine, your glass likely hitting the island with a little too much velocity as the words tumbled out of your mouth before you could take a second thought. “I think we should end the arrangement.”

Emily felt her heart drop into her stomach, the butterflies that were once there crushed into a churning of bile as she swallowed. This certainly wasn’t what she had expected, she thought she’d read the situation right, followed Tony’s advice that was supposed to lead her in the right direction. Then she felt incredibly stupid, she read body language and people for a living when she’d known them for all of two seconds. Yet she’d spent incredibly intimate and personal hours with you and still didn’t manage to get the right vibe.

“Oh…I, okay.” She placed the half full glass of wine, her eyes not totally focused on anything before she scooped up her bag, “I’ll uh… get out of your hair then.”

You’d caught the way her face fell ever so briefly before she managed to mask it, your heart squeezing in your chest as you darted around the island, managing to catch her wrist in your hand.

“No! Emily, please, no.” You tugged her back to you and when she finally did focus on you there was an evident shimmer of tears threatening to spill into her eyes, “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant.” You let out a shaky laugh, tripping over your words you were speaking so quickly, “well, I guess it is what I meant, but not how I meant it.”

“You… want to rewrite the contract?” She asked hesitantly and you felt the heat creeping up your cheeks.

“More like I was thinking about ripping up the contract…”

There was a moment of relief washing through Emily that you could feel sparking through your body as she let out a breath. Her gaze was still pouring into you and the entire room suddenly felt too hot, causing you to shove up the sleeves of your cardigan, making sure they were settled above your elbows before undoing a couple of buttons to give you a little cool room to breathe. Emily’s eyes darted over your body as her mind continued to race.

“Listen, I.. god…” you shook your head with a laugh. Despite reciting what you wanted to say for hours, you were still totally flustered when it came to saying it to her face. It didn’t help that you suddenly noticed the way her eyes were flitting between your arms and your thighs. “What?”

She looked up, a curious expression on her face, “no blood drawn?”

“Huh?” Your brow furrowed, head titling in the adorable way Emily loved when you were utterly confused. When she was done shooting you heart eyes she suddenly realized her mistake, her tongue swiping out the corner of her mouth as she began to stutter over her words.

“Uh, just… last time you went out of town you had blood drawn.” She shrugged, “I guess I thought it was some kind of travel, germaphobe, don’t want to pick up a flu or something…” She trailed off, kicking herself for letting it slip out in the first place. Her eyes darted down to your thighs again before flicking up to your collarbone, tracing the line up your neck.

Your face relaxed, lips curving up into a small smile when you caught on to what she was doing, and what she really meant. “No…” You shook your head softly, reaching out to squeeze at her hand, “no blood drawn.”

You felt your chest swell, and Emily wanted nothing more than to kiss you to high heaven in that moment, never wanting to drop your hand no matter what the cost. Instead of getting her chance you spoke again, which, honestly, was probably for the best.

“God…” you laughed again, running a hand through your hair, “I really don’t know how to do this, I’ve never done it before.”

“Wait, what?” Her head tilted, “I thought you like, made a side hustle out of sugar babying.”

“No!” You laughed, “Oh my god I’ve done it once and that was like twenty years ago. We had a very specific end date written into the contract and knew nothing was ever going to come of it aside from my tuition.”

“But you’re so knowledgeable about the subject.” She pointed out, thinking back to how confidently you’d flown through the first few months of your relationship, how you always seemed to be a step or two ahead of her when it came to navigating your way through it.

“I’ve done my research?” You shrugged, “seen a lot of examples with Heather. Hell, with a good chunk of other politicians. Listen,” you squeezed at her hand again, pulling the focus back to the topic at hand, “I don’t know how to navigate it like this.” You gestured between the two of you, “I’m not good at it, I guess it’s another reason I’ve stayed so committed to the job… being committed to a person just kind of scares me. I’ve never felt safe enough to open up the way I needed to, never been relaxed around another person to just… let them into my life so comfortably. I don’t know why things happened so differently with you, so incredibly easily and I think that kinda freaks me out too, but I think that fear is more than worth it if it gives me the chance to be with you…really be with you. Because that’s all I really want.”

When she looked up from your joined hands Emily could hear her heart hammering between her ears, the butterflies from her stomach slowly creeping into her chest. You were fully opening yourself up to her, no matter how much it scared you and behind the hesitancy in your eyes she could see something else pouring out, something that she’d been seeing for weeks but was never ballsy enough to say something about.

“I’m hearing everything your saying and believe me I want to respond and I will, but can I do something first?” She asked.

“Uh… yeah, sure.” Your brow furrowed for a second, thinking that she had to take a call, that over your racing heartbeat you hadn’t been able to hear her phone vibrate.

Instead you were letting out a little squeak in surprise when Emily stepped toward you, her hands gently cupping your face as she brought her lips to yours. Your arms easily wound around her shoulders, pulling her body directly into yours so you could absolutely melt against her. You were instantly lost into the kiss, feeling like everything inside of you was exploding in the best way possible. Somehow the thundering in Emily’s chest was calming down as her lips moved against yours with ease, as if that was exactly where they were meant to be. The sweet smell of your shampoo invaded her nose, you invaded every single one of her senses and there was absolutely nothing else that she could ever possibly want.

Her tongue traced the seam of your lips and you easily parted them, wanting nothing more than to be able to fully taste her. Your had crept up the back of her neck, fingers gently toying with the roots of her hair, your thumb stroking at her skin. Her tongue explored your mouth, rolling against your own and she couldn’t help but let out a small groan into the kiss. When your fingers ever so slightly tugged on her hair she retaliated by nipping at your lower lip while her own curved up into a grin. A small laugh broke free from your mouth, neither of you pulling away as you relaxed deeper into each other, giggles and smiles prevalent through a series of smaller kisses until you couldn’t stop them.

Emily’s forehead rested against your own as she stole one more kiss, her hand cupping your chin, thumb tracing your lower lip and you couldn’t help but press a tender kiss to it.

“I know it can be scary…” she started, “it scares me too and honestly I’m not sure if I’m particularly great at it either. I’ve been trying to untangle my thoughts and emotions for weeks, maybe even longer and it’s been driving me insane. All that I really know is that I love spending time with you, I’m happier when you’re around, you make me laugh, you encourage me to be my best, I even sleep better with you next to me and I want so much more of all of that in my life. So…maybe we can figure it out together?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, a bright smile on your cheeks and a sparkle in your eye that absolutely made her weak in the knees, “I’d really like that.”

With another adorable giggle you surged closer to her, kissing her again, your hands tugging at the fabric of her shirt, pulling her impossibly close. You couldn’t get enough of each other and it made Emily laugh again between the kisses.

“Jeeze,” she shook her head, “I can’t believe DiNozzo was right.”

“DiNozzo?” You murmured; head full of butterflies as you stole another kiss. Though once his name was on your lips you were crashed back down to earth and you leant your torso away from her, “were you talking to Tony about our love life?!”

“Uh, maybe?” She winced, her cheeks tinging as she laughed, “I mean, it turned out he did give some pretty good advice.”

“Oh god.” You hung your head, “I am never going to hear the end of this.”

“At least it was worth it?” She suggested and you smiled across at her, pressing your lips to hers.

“It definitely was.”

Her hand caressed your cheek again as she leant in to kiss you, unable to help herself at this point and you weren’t about to deny her. Right as your lips met you jumped at the sound of the doorbell.

“You expecting someone?” She asked, her arm almost tightening around your waist as you laughed, swatting at her arm.

“It’s dinner.” You grabbed your wallet from the island, “did you really think I was going to cook after such a long day?”

Emily shook her head at the look in your eyes as you disappeared around the corner. Choosing to take the time you were dealing with the driver to collect your wine glasses from the island, refilling both before selecting cutlery and setting things up on the coffee table.

“Hope you’re okay with Indian,” you started, setting the bag down on the table as you tucked a leg under yourself on the couch, “I had a craving.”

“Cuisine doesn’t matter as long as I’m sharing it with you.” She replied and you felt your heart thud in your chest, your body melting at the look in her eyes as she gazed over at you.

“You fucking sap.” You teased, choosing to distract her from the misting of happy tears in your eyes by jumping into her lap, your lips meeting hers for another kiss.

Emily’s hands ghosted up your sides as yours settled on her face, thumbs stroking at her cheeks while your tongue explored her mouth. You let out a happy sigh into the kiss that she eagerly swallowed down, her entire being relaxing at the way you were melting into the embrace.

“What?” She asked softly, a smile on her face as she nudged your nose with hers.

“Nothing.” You shook your head, unable to control your own bright smile.

“Oh c’mon.” She prodded at your sides, earning a squeal from you, “don’t pull that crap anymore.”

You laughed, gazing down at her as your thumbs continued to soothe across her cheeks, “I just guess I’ve spent so long avoiding it and being scared that I never realized it could be this easy to fall in love...”

“You’re in love with me?” If it had been even a day earlier the question would have been filled with worry, but right now Emily asked it with a tease in her voice, because she already knew the answer. You didn’t need to say it, she could feel it, the warmth flowing through the room, wrapping itself around the two of you as you perched in her lap. She wasn’t scared to hear anything you had to say and she knew she felt the same way.

“Yeah…yeah I am.”

“Good.” Her hand gently wrapped around the back of your neck, pulling you to her for another kiss, this one deeper and a little longer than the last. One that you could feel her emotion in, joy dancing deep through your veins as your heart began to strum in time with hers, “because I’ve been in love with you for weeks. I never thought we could end up like this when we started… but here we are.”

“Mmm.” You left a kiss on the tip of her nose, “and I wouldn’t have it any either way.”

_____________________

@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovakxprentiss @soverign @v3nusxsky @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @asolitaryrose3 @lisqueen @mrs-prentiss @whitewinewithice @d33pd3sire-blog @daffodil-heart @maximoffcarter @i-lovefandom @chimnlex @moonlightjxuregui @chestnutninny @gamma-rae-bursts @just-moondust @idkifimasub @gaydragonwitch @dowsedwithbleach @divergentalwaysandforever-blog @m1lfsh4ke

[as-is-above-so-below]

The Death of Peace of Mind | Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader

Part 1: Altitude. Altitude.

summary: life with a pilot isn't all it's cracked up to be. a/n: hi friends! welcome! entry, please! i told you i would be back :) unfortunately, it took a lot longer than i expected. i moved states this year, started a new job, found a loving and healthy relationship, traveled internationally for the first time... i.e. i have been super busy, but i'm out of my depressive slump and finally got the urge to write (and post) again. i won't say that consistency is back, as my social calendar has obviously been slammed, but i will try my best <3

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Thunderous.

That’s the only way to describe the sound of hundreds of boots pounding down the ship’s stairs toward the dock below. While Hangman had only been aboard for a few weeks, many of the crew had been deployed for months on end. He, and a few other Top Gun members, made the vessel their temporary home while they completed a brief mission. Nothing like the Dagger mission, just simple recon; but the security was top-notch, and the admiral wanted his best on the case.

Hangman rolls the toothpick between his teeth with his tongue and shrugs his duffel higher up his shoulder. He laughs at a dig Phoenix makes at Rooster and claps a hand on her shoulder. “Oh, Phoenix. How I’ll miss you and your quick wit,” he sings, the sun hitting his face as his boot hits the dock beside her.

Phoenix shakes her head as she pulls her aviators from her shirt and settles them on the bridge of her nose. “And I will miss nothing about you, Hangman.”

“Ouch! Brutal! You wound me, Natasha.”

“See ya next time, Hangman.”

“You won’t have to suffer too long, Rooster. I’ll be in your dreams tonight, per usual.” He nods in the other man’s direction. “Rodeo, it’s been a pleasure.”

“I’ll never understand why you boys can’t seem to get along.”

Bob’s cousin, Rhett Abbott. Related by their twin mothers, almost identical themselves. A skilled pilot and proud country boy, with a heart of gold. Not to mention, entirely tolerable. Unlike his buddy, Bradley. Hangman and Rodeo clap hands in a firm handshake, smiling at each other. “It’s not in my blood, cowboy.”

They say their final goodbyes and are about to split up when a tiny voice shouts, “DADDY!”

Usually, this wouldn’t be uncommon. They’re on a dock, where families had come from all over Texas to welcome their servicemen and women home from a long deployment. It’s an emotional affair, albeit happy, but emotional nevertheless. However, when a little blonde girl they don’t recognize (again, not uncommon, usually) gets closer and closer, set on a path in their direction, confusion is written all over their faces. That confusion only increases tenfold when Hangman breaks into the biggest, most genuine smile they’ve ever seen him wear, and takes long strides in her direction.

“DADDY!”

Hangman drops into a squat, holding his bag in place on his shoulder, and grabs the child with his other arm. “Hi, baby!” he exclaims and fervently kisses her cheek. “I missed you so much!” 

He can’t remember the last time his heart felt so full. He understands now, why so many people have their families show up after every deployment or mission. Watching his daughter, who somehow managed to find him in the crowd, run up to him with so much excitement and love was entirely different than walking in the front door.

Although, it’s been a while since that’s happened.

He shakes the thought from his mind and scoops her up with his arm while he stands again. Her little arms go right around his neck, hugging him tight. He’s gently rubbing her leg when he asks her, “Where’s your mom?”

He’s fully aware of the absolute circus in the minds of his fellow pilots in the background. They haven’t spoken a word, silent, but he doesn’t have to look to know that they’re probably standing in the same spot. Unmoved, jaws on the floor. What Hangman does do is look around, keeping an eye out for–

“Mama!” the little girl yells, waving her hand frantically at the woman approaching.

“You found him! I’m so proud of you, Daise!”

Jake Seresin was an expert at keeping his personal and work lives separate; or he thought so, at least. Work often bled into personal, but never the other way around. Any piece or crumb the crew knew about his life outside of work, he had fed them willingly and with intention.

“Would you…want to come to port?”

“...What?”

“Only if you want. I know it’s a long drive for Daise–”

“No, no. We could fly. I’m just…surprised. You’ve never…”

“We’re docking in Corpus. The crew asked if I would show them around while we’re on leave. If it’s alright with you, I’d like to introduce you. And Daisy. Especially with…”

“That sounds nice. We’ll be there.”

“Great. I’ll send you the info.” Silence. “Thanks, Red. I mean it.”

“I know. Thank you for including us.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner.”

“You’re fixing it. That’s all that matters.”

He thought that he had mastered work-life balance, too.

Apparently, not.

You give him a short side hug, partially blocked by his familiar duffel. His hand lingers on your arm after you pull away. 

“Hey. Thank you for coming.”

“Happy to. I wish you could’ve seen her face when I told her. Didn’t complain once the whole drive here.”

“Really? Isn’t that something?” He turns his attention back to Daisy. “Were you good for Mama?”

Jake listens intently to your daughter’s jumbled, excited retelling of your journey, and you occasionally butt in with light banter. He hadn’t been gone long, but from the speed and fervor at which Daisy was talking, you’d think she hadn’t seen him in months. This goes on for a bit until someone interrupts your daughter’s babbling. A male voice barks his callsign, and he peers over his shoulder in their direction.

He looks back over at Daisy with a gasp. “Daise, would you wanna meet Daddy’s coworkers?” he asks, his eyebrows quirked in faux shock.

“For real?!”

“Yeah, for real.”

“Yes!”

And that’s what you do. Jake nods in the group’s direction, and you follow his lead, sticking close to his side. He had obviously done an excellent job at keeping his family a secret; you can tell from a mile away that the band of pilots is trying to quietly deduce what the fuck is going on while you approach. Daisy is practically ready to launch out of his hold in excitement, giggling and wiggling like a little worm.

“Alright, don’t get yourselves in a tizzy.” He hikes Daisy up on his waist. “Daisy, this is Rodeo–”

“Like the rodeo at home?” she asks, in her curious, pitched voice.

“Just like that. Rodeo, this is Daisy Mae.”

“Pleasure.” The man holds his hand out to her, and she takes it, bursting with giggles again. The sound is like music to your ears, and you just know that Jake is absolutely reveling in her joy. Rodeo has a charming smile and a warm personality. You’ve heard just about every complaint under the sun from Hangman (and he has plenty), but he’s bitched about Rodeo the least. Although, when he bitches, that usually means he cares.

And he complains about Rooster a lot. A lot.

Rodeo then moves on to you and offers the same gesture. “Rhett Abbott. Miss…?”

“Seresin. I’m his wife,” you say, shaking his hand while you tell him your first name and insist that he drop the formality. You can sense Jake, your husband, looking and smiling down at you like you’re his moon and stars. You make a feeble attempt to avoid meeting his gaze but it’s futile. You make eye contact, and you know you won’t live the admission down.

You’ll talk about it later.

“You have a hat like Daddy’s,” your daughter says, and reaches out to touch the brim.

“Do I, now?”

“Moving on.” He turns her a little, “And this is Rooster.”

Daisy’s button nose scrunches in distaste, and her brows furrow together, before “…Ew.”

The man with a mustache, Rooster, clicks his teeth. “Seriously, Seresin?” he exclaims, exasperated.

“You know it. Up top, pumpkin.” Daisy throws her whole body into the high-five. You laugh as they smack hands in the air, and Jake shakes it off as if it were the crispest he had ever received. “Ouch. You’re gonna have a nasty right hook one day. You know who else throws a good punch?” He turns them to the next person, the sole woman of the party. “This is Phoenix.”

The dark-haired woman smiles brightly. “Hello! Phoenix is my work name. You can call me Natasha,” she says as if they’re sharing a secret. She’s very pretty, you notice, and you already like her. You hope the two of you can keep in touch, maybe even become friends.

You thought you would be more nervous, meeting the people Jake spends most of his time with, but you feel at ease. Sure, there’s anxious fluttering in your stomach, but it’s minimal. You’re in his sanctuary, his church, for the first time ever, and the magnitude of that isn’t lost on you.

“N…Tasha.”

“Exactly. Tasha’s okay too.”

It almost feels like before. Before Jake, Hangman, blew right past the hard deck of your relationship and left a fiery pile of rubble, which he was now attempting to repair.

But this isn’t before.

Then

Altitude. Altitude.

Not being selected for the mission stung; but being put on standby (babysitting duty), twiddling his thumbs on deck in favor of Rooster, stung even more.

Hangman knew deep down what Rooster was capable of. He said so during their training exercise. He had all of the skills to complete the mission just fine if he would just buck the fuck up. He didn’t have the confidence, too cautious for his own good. He hoped Maverick was right, that Roos was ready to get the job done.

“We got two minutes to target.”

“Copy. We’re a few seconds behind, Rooster. We got to move.”

“Thirty seconds to tomahawk impact on enemy airstrip.”

“Dagger, Comanche. We’re picking up two bandits. Single group, two contacts.”

They would be fine. Nothing to worry about.

“Sir, Daggers two and four are behind schedule. Time to target, one minute-twenty.”

“Rooster, where are you?”

“Come on, Bradshaw, pick it up…”

“Come on, Rooster. Bandits inbound. We got to make up time now. Let’s turn and burn.

Good, Payback. Kick his ass into gear.

“Guys, we’re falling behind! We really gotta move!”

“If we don’t increase our speed right now, those bandits are gonna be waiting for us when we reach the target.”

Hit the gas, Rooster. Do it.

And he did. By the sound of it, Roos had blown his wingmen out of the water with the way he took off. He nearly left them in the dust, to Hangman’s surprise and pride. Maybe the other pilot had taken a page out of his book.

“Dagger one is hit! I repeat, Dagger one is hit! Maverick is down!”

He had considered at least one of the lieutenants not making it back. Whether it was Rooster for being too slow, or Payback and Fanboy going down with him for his hesitation. He was fairly certain Phoenix was safe, with the legendary captain as her wingman. But losing Maverick wasn’t anywhere close to his radar. He started adjusting in his seat, checking his buckles and legroom while holding his mouthpiece up. “Dagger spare, request permission to launch and fly air cover!”

There’s a beat, before Comanche’s response. “Negative, spare.”

And like a good soldier, Hangman listened. Begrudgingly, and with great frustration, he listened. Even as Rooster disobeyed orders. Even as he located a somehow living Pete Mitchell. Even as he crashed like their leader. By that point, they were sure to be dead, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

That is, until–

“Daggers two, four, and spare. Be advised, a supersonic F-14 has been detected with Rooster’s headset. Unconfirmed occupants. Do not engage.”

“What?” Jake’s head whipped around and his eyes darted to Phoenix in her cockpit. She was looking between Hangman and Dagger Four just as confused as he was. “Did they say–?”

Payback lifted his mouthpiece. “Comanche, repeat.”

“Rooster headset has been picked up in the air.”

Going after Roos and Mav was a split-second decision. He knew he shouldn’t have done it the second his wheels left the carrier.

Pull up. Pull up.

And by then, it was too late to turn back.

“Dagger spare, do not engage! You do not have clearance for take-off! Acknowledge!”

“With all due respect, Comanche, not acknowledged.”

A man’s voice, likely the vice admiral, suddenly cut in. “Hangman! Stay put! That is a direct order!”

If he was going to get written up, potentially court-martialed, for disobeying direct orders, he was going to make the most of it.

“Sorry, sir. I can’t do that.”

Hangman didn’t respond to the slew of orders and cursing. He engaged the jet canopy and sat in silence with his hand over his right breast pocket, where three small photos were safely tucked away. One of you, in your pajamas with your hair up and an ice cream spoon in your mouth, eyes crinkled as you grin at him. Another of him and Daisy, and a third of the three of you.

You’d better be worth it, Bradshaw.

“Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. This is your savior speaking.”

“Hey, Hangman. You look good.”

“I am good, Rooster. I’m very good.”

You were standing by the door, rifling through the pile of mail from the day, when you found an official-looking letter in the middle. “Jake, baby, there’s a letter for you.”

Altitude. Altitude.

“Does it say ‘confidential’?” he hollered from the kitchen.

You turned the thick envelope over, then back again. “No, it’s just addressed to you,” you said, shaking your head as if he could see you.

“Go ahead and open it.”

The paper and adhesive tore easily around your finger as you approached the kitchen. You pulled the single page out of its sleeve and quickly skimmed the letter to give a summary. But that cursory glance sent an icy chill up your spine, choking back the first line that you had meant to read aloud.

You stood between the living room and kitchen, letter in hand, frozen; a reprimand.

“What’s it say, babe?”

You couldn’t bring yourself to speak, let alone move. Your eyes meticulously crawled through the slip, unblinking, tears pooling helplessly at your lashes. Eventually, your body couldn’t take the stillness and your lashes fluttered. The gathered drops raced down your cheeks and soiled the paper.

LETTER OF REPRIMAND FOR FAILURE TO FOLLOW ORDERS

MEMORANDUM FOR Lieutenant Jacob Austin Seresin

FROM: Vice Admiral Beau Simpson

You are being reprimanded for violating Article 92, Failure to Obey an Order or Regulation. During the [REDACTED] mission, you, Lt. Seresin, were ordered to remain grounded. You neglected to do so. As your commanding officer, the risks and outcomes of the mission were weighed carefully. You decided, on your admission and recognizance, to steal government property and engage in air-to-air combat with an enemy force that had already shot down two of your fellow airmen.

Said action could have resulted in your death, as well as the deaths of others. As a lieutenant and military member, you are expected to be a leader and obey all lawful orders. This behavior is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. Any future occurrences of failing to comply with Navy Standards will result in stronger disciplinary actions.

After reviewing the sequence of events, and given the outcome of your actions–

You didn’t need to read the rest; the course of action Jake’s command had decided upon wasn’t important. You’d had enough. Your face suddenly felt hot. And your insides, your insides, too. The wet streaks on your face and neck suddenly burned; or was it the heat under your skin turning them to vapor? Eventually, after Jake prompted you again, an echo in the ringing in your head, you managed a quiet, “Get out.”

“Can’t hear you. What?”

Through gritted teeth, you turn to stare at him, gaze like hot daggers, and growl, “Get. Out.”

He turned to find you, the epitome of feminine rage and nearly cowered back. In the years you had been together, he had never seen you so angry.

“W…hat do you–”

His confusion only made your fury worse. And so your rampage began. Your heavy footsteps cut him off and you all but ran to your shared bedroom, and slammed the letter on the kitchen island on your way past.

“Red–” The thought died in his throat when he scanned the mail.

Fuck.

A bag flying into the living space from the hall broke him out of his stupor. Jake quickly moved toward the source, and asked, “Red, what are you do–” When he crossed the threshold, a pressed uniform smacked him in the face.

“Get out! Get out, get out, get out, GET OUT!” you screeched, lobbing clothes and other small objects at him.

His pants, his socks, his fucking underwear–

Out. Get it all out. All of it. Fuck him, fuck his shit, fuck his job–

“Baby–!”

“Fuck you! Don’t call me that!”

“Red, baby, please! Stop!”

That finally sparked a coherent thought in your mind. You were sobbing, choking on your cries, but you managed ragged breaths to string together a sentence. “We just talked about this! You promised me! You promised that you would do better, and I believed you! MOTHERFUCKER!”

A phone charger smacked the wall where Jake’s head once was; he swatted at a pillow that came in his direction when he straightened back up. “I…Sweetheart,” he stuttered, desperate sounding. “I couldn’t–they would’ve died! I’m so–”

Hearing him about to say he was sorry made it so much fucking worse. You don’t know what else to do but just…scream. Like a banshee. That was when the heavy shit started–the remote, a picture frame, a vase, a lamp. During your blind frenzy, he managed to get close enough to grab your arms when you turned your back, searching for another projectile. He pulled you to his chest, practically crushing you against him, so you would stop fighting and trying to injure him. But you were vicious; screaming obscenities and insults, writhing in his iron grip. You managed to get your legs up and kick at the bed, which sent Jake stumbling back and forced him to plant his feet. If he were honest, he would admit that he struggled to keep you contained, even for a moment.

His body, his flesh touching yours was too much, and your sleep set didn’t offer you much relief. Your skin crawled like you might just burst at the thought of having to be in his proximity any longer. Amidst all the chaos, you’d almost forgotten about your toddler, sleeping soundly in another room.

“I can’t believe I trusted you! You’re fucking killing me! And you do it like it’s nothing! Like we’re nothing! I’m done! I’m fucking done!”

Pull up. Pull up.

You kicked again, and Jake let you go, instead holding your face to make you look at him. But you shoved him away before he could get the chance. “Red, you have to understand–!”

“I’m done understanding! I don’t care about them! I don’t care about the military! Why should I give half of a shit, when my husband would rather die for them than live for his fucking wife and child!”

Jake didn’t respond. He couldn’t. What could he have said? To apologize, to make it better, to prove that. He’d already groveled to get to where they were then, and he screwed it up so quickly. 

The battlefield that was his mind wouldn’t cooperate. He was barely keeping his head above water lately, let alone while trying to mitigate the damage he had done to his wife. Damage that he didn’t—couldn’t—see, and still didn’t quite understand. You brought up your feelings, over and over again, and he did his best to keep his promises.

He did his best. Why wasn’t that good enough?

“You don’t get it! And I don’t know how to make you understand. I’ve begged, I’ve made threats, and it’s not working. So I’m telling you again. GET. OUT!”

“Red!”

The neighbors called the police. They heard your fight from next door, through the hum of their TV while their family ate dinner. How your daughter slept through it, even with taking after her father with his heavy sleeping, you’d never know. Jake sat on their doorstep shell-shocked, a cop around his dad’s age hovering over him with a sad look.

“I just want him gone. I need to be left alone,” you choked through tears, wiping your sleeve across your face. “I’m always alone.”

How did we get here?

Daisy’s faint cries flooded through the doorway from her bedroom. Your husband instinctually went to get up and tend to her, but was met with a firm hand on his shoulder. The man shook his head, and Jake slowly sank back down. If he could’ve sunk into the concrete, he would’ve. What kind of man was he, if he couldn’t even tend to his daughter?

The officers told each of you separately that charges weren’t necessary for a case like yours, which you were grateful for. Jake would never hit you, and you told them as much; you’d just reached your breaking point and needed space. The older man followed the pilot through the house as he went to fetch some clothes to last him a few days. It took everything in his being to ignore Daisy’s cries for him from behind her closed door; it was enough of a challenge that the officer had to nudge him past when he paused at the painted entryway, adorned with her namesake.

With instructions to restrict contact to Daisy’s needs for the next few days, to give you both time to cool off, your husband left peacefully. You didn’t watch as he tossed his bag into the backseat of his truck, or when he pulled out of your driveway. You simply thanked the officers and closed the door, leaned back against it, and sobbed into your palm. You don’t have long, your daughter having gotten louder with each passing minute she was left unattended. You let her cry for just a bit longer to get it out of your system before fetching her.

Even though you had just kicked your husband, the love of your life, out of your family home, you still managed to be incredibly gentle with your toddler. It felt like your soul was torn to pieces, one of them on his way to a motel or parking lot, no doubt.

You shushed her quietly as you scooped her into your arms and smoothed her hair. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. Mama’s here. It’s okay.”

Altitude. Altitude.

Copyright © 2024 as-is-above-so-below. All rights reserved.

[mint-yooxgi]

{4} - Fight or Flight - Yandere!Redcap!Mingi X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Fae!AU & Yandere!AU - Part of the CoDN Thrill of the Hunt Collab

Genre: Fantasy, Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Mingi X Reader

Words: 8,188

Rating: Mature - 18+ MDNI

Warnings: Please read the warnings carefully, as this is a very heavy story dealing with many dark topics. This is also all of the warnings for this fic as it is one long one shot that I had to split into multiple parts, and I'm too tired right now to individually categorize all of these warnings to their respective parts. 8 ft tall Mingi. Slow burn. Violence: depiction of a massacre, a deer being slaughtered, as well as physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional, both alluded to and not. Blood and gore. Abuse: physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual, both alluded to and implied. Assault: physical, and sexual, both alluded to, implied, and attempted. OC has a really rough past, really this isn't for the faint of heart. Whipping, both alluded to, and done. Mentions of branding. Heavy themes of possession and ownership. Deception. Arson. Really, there's a lot of dark subject matter. Mingi falls hard and fast, thus, he simps a lot for the OC, but it's not a story written by me if Mingi doesn't simp for the OC. The reader is mentioned to be both tall and chubby, but it is not mentioned often, so it shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story when ready if you are not tall and/or chubby. I think that's everything, but if I missed something, please let me know! Smut: Biting/marking, outdoor sex, fingering (fem. rec), oral (fem. rec), hand job (male rec), come eating, overstimulation, Mingi has a dig bick, sex in a spring, really, it's very soft in comparison to the subject matter. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

P.S. If there are any spelling or grammatical errors, please ignore them. I did my best through many rounds of editing, but some are liable to still slip through.

A/n: I am SO sorry this took me LITERALLY forever to complete. I meant to have this out so much earlier, and actually posted on time, but it turned out much, much longer than I ever anticipated it being. I'm really proud of how this story turned out, and I didn't want to split it into multiple parts because I felt it would take away from the story as a whole. I'm super excited for you all to read this one, as I had a tremendous amount of fun writing it, and I really hope you all love Mingi's and OC's journey as much as I do. Huge shoutout and thanks to @anyamaris and @kwanisms for listening to me ramble and rave about this story both before and during the writing process, and for always encouraging me while writing! Also, huge thank you to @sanjoongie for being so patient and understanding with me as I write this all out in full. I hope you all enjoy! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

Summary: Out of one horrible situation and into another, the cycle of abuse never stops. You've lived with monsters your whole life. So, what's one more?

P.P.S. Please don't let this flop guys. If you enjoyed it, please reblog!!!

Mini Masterlist - Part One - Part Two - Part Three

For the whole night, Mingi holds you in his arms. You manage to pass out sometime within the same hour it took for you to finally calm down, and Mingi cannot help but hold you tighter.

His gaze lingers on your features, taking note of every dip and curve of your face as you rest in his arms. He studies the slope of your nose, the softness of your cheek as your eyes dance behind your eyelids throughout the night. He keeps his one hand resting over your own over your stomach, noticing how your body relaxes the longer he soothes you.

Not once does Mingi dare move. He doesn’t want to disturb you, and besides, you’ve been through a lot this evening. Letting you rest is his top priority. Getting to feel your body wrapped around his own is simply a bonus. One that he never knew he wanted until the very first touch.

It’s odd to him, how one so different from him can open up a whole new world he never knew possible. There is something deep within him that revels at having you near, a feeling that settles deep within his bones and tells him that being with you like this is right. A side within him arguing against everything he once knew and felt towards your kind, urging him to accept his basic instincts and always protect you.

He’s starting to care, and he doesn’t know whether that fact thrills, or terrifies him. All he does know is that he will keep you safe, no matter the cost.

Gently, Mingi lifts the hand he had resting over your stomach to your face. Tentatively, his fingers trace over the skin of your cheek, shifting to caress you softly in the palm of his hand.

Almost instantly, you lean into his touch.

His breath hitches, and his heart begins to pound within his chest. He’s never felt this way before. About anyone, or anything. You make something within him come alive, and he actively enjoys spending time with you. Seeing you scared, knowing you’re in pain, only serves to make his instincts go into overdrive.

You are as delicate as that flower you clutch so dearly in your hand. A blossom which Mingi will help flourish, nourishing you until he can see you fully bloom into the person you are meant to be. 

He will keep you safe. He will see you smile, and make you laugh. He will do all these things and more, and he will do them to ensure your happiness. 

Mingi may know nothing about your past, but he guarantees your future will be a bright one. He will make it so, even if it’s the last thing that he ever does.

***

Morning comes. The light of the sun creeps through the window, and casts a warm glow throughout the room. Faintly, birds can be heard chirping in the distance, and their tender song is what begins to rouse you from your slumber.

Groggily, you blink your eyes open. You can tell your face is a bit swollen from all the crying you did last night, and as you lift your hands to your cheek, you realize two things.

One: you fell asleep while held in that redcap’s arms last night. You currently do not know where he is, for he doesn’t occupy the bed beside yours, nor is he in your immediate line of sight. You also do not know how long he decided to comfort you, but from the way your heart feels, you do not care. 

You actually got a decent rest last night, slumbering straight through until morning without a single night terror. For that, you are grateful, albeit surprised.

Two: you are currently laying down. A soft blanket is wrapped over your figure, and your body no longer aches. You seem to be resting on your side, facing the bedside table, a pillow tucked carefully beneath your head.

Resting upon the top of the table beside you is a fresh glass of water. You can see the condensation forming on the glass, informing you that the water is cool, and hasn’t been there for long. Though, that’s not what shocks you the most.

A single stem of red spider lilies lays beside the glass of water. The flower is in full bloom; vibrant and healthy. From the faint scent you can smell drifting through the air, you can tell that this plant has just been picked, too.

Your heart warms, and you cannot help the way you immediately reach for that flower. Very carefully, and with that stem held in your hand, you sit up in bed, noticing how your stomach doesn’t seem to ache anymore in the spot where that fae had been digging his knee into you. 

Leaning against the headboard, you stare down at that flower held in your hand. Softly, you begin twirling the stem between your fingers, the faintest of smiles causing the corner of your lips to tug upwards. It’s been a long time since you felt this rested, this at peace.

Maybe you are dead, after all.

A figure out of the corner of your eyes startles you, and you drop the flower in surprise. It lands softly on your lap, a bright red to contrast the light brown sheets.

Standing near the end of your bed with a neutral expression on his face is that redcap, his eyes locked on your figure. You swear you imagine it, but for a brief second, you thought you saw the corners of his lips quirked upwards softly while looking at you.

“Good morning.” The low timbre of his voice fills the room. For some reason unknown to you, it wraps itself like a blanket around your figure, warming you from the inside out.

Your eyes dart from his face to the flower in your lap, then back again. Words get caught in your throat, and you find yourself unable to speak for the moment, opting to incline your head slightly.

Why is it that you suddenly feel shy around him? Did he actually do something for you, or are you simply imagining things while in a state of delirium?

“You should eat something.” He keeps his tone soft, motioning to the bedside table with his chin.

Turning your head, you notice a small tray of food resting just behind the glass of water. From the angle you had while you had been laying down, it made it difficult to see.

You nod, fingers fiddling with that stem in your lap as you avert your gaze downwards. It is then that you realize that your wrists are also no longer hurting, nor are they swollen. The fae must have healed you overnight, just as he’s always been doing.

A small silence passes between the both of you, and you notice how he doesn’t move a single inch from his spot. Although he keeps his gaze fixed on you, it’s not uncomfortable in the slightest. In fact, it’s probably the softest look you’ve ever felt him give you since you’ve met. A look you have never experienced before, but the longer he stares at you, the longer you wish to bathe in the warmth this new feeling provides. 

You don’t know why, but you want him to keep looking at you like that. To always look at you like that.

You swallow lightly, lips parting as you take a small breath in. The dryness in your throat prevents you from speaking the words you wish to say.

“Here,” Slowly, he crosses the short distance to the bedside table, grabbing the glass of water in his hand. “Drink this.”

Every movement he makes is careful, so as not to frighten you. A fact which you appreciate more than even you realize at the moment.

Reaching your hand out, you take the glass from him. Lightly, your fingers brush over his own, and neither of you can prevent the way you both react to the other’s touch.

His breath hitches ever so slightly, but it’s so faint that you swear you imagine it.

You, on the other hand, swallow once more, a light shiver caressing your spine.

Neither of you comment on the other’s reaction, and for that, you’re both grateful. You’re not ready to acknowledge the sudden shift between you, certain that this is really only a temporary thing. The rug has been pulled out from under your feet too many times before, and you’d rather be prepared for the sudden shift in gravity than fall flat on your face again.

Bringing the glass to your lips, you take a sip of water. You don’t realize just how dehydrated you are until the first drop hits your tongue, downing the glass almost instantly. Once empty, you go to place the glass back onto the table, only for a gentle hand to reach out and prevent you from doing so.

Blinking your gaze upwards, you see the fae leaning forward lightly. A pitcher of water is in his one hand as he uses the other to steady your own. Without a word, or waiting for a response, he fills your glass once more.

Gently, he pulls away from you. Intently, you watch him place the pitcher onto the bedside table, shifting backwards soon after to sit on the bed across from your own.

You take another sip of water, letting a comfortable silence fill the room. Your back still rests against the headboard as you sit upon the mattress, gaze falling to your lap. In one hand, that glass rests, fingers curled around it as the crisp coolness of the water seeps into your palm. In your other hand, you hold that stem of red spider lilies, twirling the bloom softly between your fingers.

Your expression is the most relaxed it’s been in a long time, and for once your body doesn’t ache in pain. Breathing is the easiest it’s ever been for the moment, and filling your lungs feels refreshing for a change, rather than a chore. Your lips part slightly, and your tongue darts out to wet them.

You hesitate, before taking a deep breath in to steady your nerves.

“Thank you.” The admission is barely above a whisper, but from the way the fae seems to stop breathing across from you, you know that he’s heard you loud and clear. “General-“

“Mingi.” His tone is firm, but more so in an eager way than demanding.

Your gaze darts up in surprise to meet his own, and you notice him clear his throat. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows, the faintest hue of pink dusting his cheeks as he averts his gaze to the side.

You didn’t realize fae could feel something as trivial as embarrassment.

Not even a moment later, his once sharp eyes are drifting back to your own with the softest look resting on his features. You’ve never experienced anyone look at you in such a way before, and to say it makes your heart race would be a complete understatement.

Please, don’t let it be a dream. Don’t let it be a cruel trick you have become so used to. This feeling may be foreign, and terrifying in it’s own right, but the possibilities the outcome holds has you looking towards the future with hope for once.

“I wish for you to call me Mingi.” He breathes, his hands gripping lightly at the edge of the mattress he sits on.

It’s faint, but you cannot help the way your breath catches in your throat. Your gaze softens as you stare at the fae before you, heart swelling inside of your chest. You doubt this is his true name, but the fact that he trusts you enough to share such a part of himself with you has you feeling a certain type of way. A certain type of happy way.

A soft incline of your head is the first response he gets. The second is a slight upturn of your lips, and you’re certain he can hear the way your heart is thundering away erratically inside of your chest.

“Alright.” Your reply is gentle as you hum. “Thank you, Mingi.”

Such a tender, almost giddy smile, pulls at his lips. Even the corners of his eyes crinkle slightly, and you are suddenly taken by the beauty of this creature in front of you. Gone is the brute of a fae you met only a short while ago, and instead, in his place, is an oversized kitten parading around as a lion. Yet, you know that that beast still lingers just beneath the surface, ready and willing to strike at a moment’s notice.

Slowly, tentatively, you tell him your own name. A name no one has called you in years.

If you thought his smile was vibrant before, the second your name slips passed your lips his smile becomes downright blinding. 

There’s something about the way he repeats your name slowly, as if testing the weight of it on his tongue to ensure he gets it right ever time, that has another warmth blooming in your chest. There is no malice in the way he grins at you once he’s perfected the way your name falls from his lips, and you find you can only smile faintly at him in response. A fact of which that only serves to make him more giddy.

“You should eat.” He repeats his words from earlier as he stands back to his feet. “Regain your strength for when we set out once more.”

You nod in response, reaching over to place the glass of water back onto the bedside table. Once your hand is free, you carefully slide the tray of food towards you, lifting it onto your lap to begin eating.

“Take your time,” he says casually over his shoulder. “We leave once you’re ready.”

Again, you simply nod in response. 

There’s a sense of calm that hasn’t left you since you woke up, and the longer the morning lasts, the more you settle into this new feeling. You know you probably shouldn’t let yourself get too comfortable. The wool’s been pulled over your eyes too many times to count. However, there’s something about this fae - Mingi - that urges you to trust him.

After all, no one else has ever come to your rescue like he did last night.

Glancing down at that stem of spider lilies resting in your one hand, you cannot help the small smile that graces your features once more. It surprises you, because for a time, you thought that you may have forgotten just how to do such a simple thing. Yet, with this redcap, you seem to be relearning how to live again.

A girl that you haven’t seen in years, that you could no longer recognize in the mirror, is finally becoming the woman she has always been meant to be.

***

An hour or so later, and you begin to make your way back down to the main area of the tavern. Mingi said he would meet you downstairs to let you finish getting ready for the day. He told you not to rush, but you know not to keep him waiting. Besides, it’s not like you want to, anyways.

The tavern is much quieter than last night, with far less patrons. Only a few fae can be seen sitting around the space as you walk out onto the main floor, but that doesn’t mean their eyes still aren’t locked on you as soon as you appear.

More whispers about a supposed missing claim mark reach your ears, but you ignore them for now. You purse your lips slightly, saying nothing. Not when you see Mingi seemingly arguing with the owner of the tavern off to your left.

“Then, where the fuck did they get the ward key in the first place?” The redcap’s sharp tone is kept low, yet deadly all the same.

“I didn’t give them the key, if that’s what you’re implying.” The owner frowns, standing his ground. “If you’re that concerned about a human, don’t bring them into a den full of unknown fae. You, of all creatures, should understand.”

Mingi scowls, nearly reaching across the counter to scruff the fae’s shirt. His eyes glance over to you briefly, and you notice the way he stops himself, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.

“You have to activate the wards before a key can be used, do you not?” He hisses, irritation marring his brow.

“I must have forgotten to deactivate it when it was returned the last time.” The tavern owner replies without missing a beat. “If it’s taken from the return counter, I cannot prevent that.”

“You let them take the key off the counter?” Mingi’s voice booms across the tavern, and all heads turn to look at the both of you.

“Watch your tone.” The owner snaps, eyes suddenly sharp. “Don’t forget, you’re a guest here.”

“Fine.” Mingi lets out a sharp, exasperated huff. 

Without another word, Mingi turns around to face you. Your eyes go wide as he places a hand onto your shoulder, turning you towards the exit. Though his body is tense, his touch is surprisingly gentle as he leads you out of the tavern and towards the edge of the forest, muttering under his breath.

“Stupid fucking creature left the key on the counter for them to take,” his voice is but a growl upon his lips, the stomping of his feet drawing attention from the few townsfolk outside enjoying the early morning air.

Your eyes dart every which way, glad that none of the other fae seem to be following after such an annoyed redcap. Of course, given the circumstances, you’re grateful. However, a chill still caresses your spine.

No one would have come to your aid should Mingi choose to take his annoyance out on you. Nor do they seem concerned that you do not belong with him, being a human and all. You’re in above your head, or at least, you would be, if you were in any immediate danger.

Walking through the woods, you remain silent for the time being. Given the morning you’ve had, you do not wish to upset the balance and make Mingi actually turn his anger towards you. You know he cannot lie, so his statement to protect you should hold true. However, you do not know how long that truth will last, or what might accidentally set him off.

This is completely new territory for you, and it both excites and terrifies you to no end. Someone felt that your life was worth saving, and not out of necessity.

It shouldn’t, but that means something to you. It means everything to you.

Passing by the stream you took that fateful bath in with Windfel as your ‘guard’ takes no time at all. In fact, you barely notice when you do, too caught up in your own mind for the moment. Still, there’s that familiar call from the water, beckoning you back towards its crisp coolness. A call which you rightfully ignore, just like the first time it sung to you.

You don’t have time for that, nor is bathing an option right now. Thus, you resist the streams’ call for another day.

Soon, hours pass with you traversing through the woods. No longer are you forced to follow after the redcap general. Instead, Mingi makes sure to walk right beside you. The only time he seems to speak is to alert you of a sudden root or rock in your path, or to let you know the direction you’ll be headed in.

Sometime later, and after he’s completely calmed down, you notice his arm starting to brush against your own. It’s gentle, and it could easily be passed off as his walking pattern, but after the third time he does it, you realize that maybe, just maybe, he wants to touch you.

His eyes are slightly out of focus, and you believe him to be walking purely on muscle memory alone. He must know the path to this keep of his like the back of his hand, for he doesn’t even blink when he steps over a few large roots you don’t even think he noticed.

“You’re lucky to be alive.” Mingi’s voice cutting through the silence of the woods has your eyes immediately darting over to him.

“So, you’ve said.” You reply lightly, cautiously.

This must be what’s on his mind. Hopefully, he’s not about to turn him saving you into a lecture about being in his debt. You’ve heard that one too many times to count.

“The stream you bathed in,” he begins, sparing a glance at you out of the corner of his vision as you walk beside him. “It should have killed you the minute you entered its waters.”

You breath catches in your throat, and you nearly trip over your own two feet.

“Well, that’s reassuring,” you exhale a long breath through your nose, frowning slightly.

Is that why Windfel…? No. It can’t be…

“I don’t know what drove you to dive into its waters, but the wild stream is enchanted so that once you enter, you can never leave.” He explains, keeping his head forward, gaze fixed on the path before your feet. “Or, well, it’s supposed to be."

“Windfel told me to bathe.” Comes your reply, staring down at the ground nervously. “He said I stunk.”

“Ah, so he pulled you out.” Mingi hums, as if the answer has suddenly been revealed to him.

“No, I got in and out myself.”

“That’s impossible.” Mingi frowns, turning to glance at you walking beside him. “The stream coaxes you into a sense of bliss, and the waters pull you deeper into its current the moment you set foot in it.”

“Well, I did hear a small voice encouraging me to stay.” You tilt your head slightly, almost in recollection.

“Yet, you still managed to pull yourself out?” Mingi asks, slight disbelief clinging to the edge of his words.

“We had to get back to camp,” you shrug, shoulders suddenly curling in on yourself. “There were things to be done.”

Almost immediately, Mingi stops walking. When he notices you get a few paces ahead, his hand reaches out to halt you in your tracks. Turning you to face him, you notice worry lining his brow.

“You escaped the waters of the wild stream because you felt a sense of duty?”

You purse your lips, eyes flitting everywhere around the area except to Mingi’s own.

“It’s not like that…”

“Then, how did you manage to escape Windfel?” He questions, both his hands resting on top of your shoulders now.

“I didn’t.” Comes your blunt reply, blinking up at the redcap before you.

You can feel your heart rate accelerate at the look in his eyes, fingers picking nervously at the end of your shirt. You know you should meet his gaze, it’s been drilled into since who knows when, but you fear the monster you’ll see looking back at you if you do.

“What do you mean you didn’t escape Windfel?” Mingi’s fingers tighten ever so slightly over your shoulders, frown marring his features. “It’s not like he would have just let you go.”

You say nothing, opting to purse your lips in response. You can feel your heart pounding inside of your chest as you continue to avert your gaze to the side. Given the way he’s currently reacting, you doubt he’d believe you anyways. Even if you tried.

Softly, he calls you name. His one hand gently cups you beneath your chin, turning your head to meet his gaze as he searches your own.

“If you believe I will get upset with you for telling me what happened, I will not.” His words are calm, yet firm, and there’s a certain look residing in his sharp eyes that makes you believe him.

So, you take a deep breath in.

“He told me to go survive on my own. That’s all.” Your body is tense beneath his hold as you tentatively brush his hands off of your shoulders.

He lets you.

Mingi purses his lips, clearly not satisfied with your answer. Only, despite the way you can visibly see his jaw twitch, he doesn’t push you.

“Come on,” he sighs, turning back to face the direction in which you’re travelling in. “There’s still a long ways to go.”

***

Two more days pass by like this, with you walking side by side with Mingi as you make the long trek back to his home. He’s a little more talkative than you’re used to, but not by much. He seems to be respecting your boundaries, for the most part. He doesn’t push you to answer him, nor is he as forceful with you as he was during the first few days you spent together.

Ever since that incident in the tavern, he’s been… nice. Well, as nice as a fae can be, all things considered.

In the evenings, when the sun begins to set and he notices your limp becoming more prominent, he purposely makes you stop to rest. He brings you food, and water, and if you get cold, he always makes sure to build a fire. He even goes so far as to sit near you, or against the tree beside your own, always making sure he’s close by in case you should need him.

The odd time, you even catch him glancing your way. Usually, he wears an unreadable expression on his features, but every so often, you catch that same soft look residing in his eyes as you did the morning you woke up in that tavern. It’s happened too often for you to just be imagining it anymore, and given the sudden way he’s been treating you, you find yourself relaxing more and more around him every day.

It’s beginning to look less and less like a false sense of security, and more and more like a genuine connection. Something which, now that you think about, you’ve never experienced before in your life.

The third day passes with no major events, but during the morning of the fourth, Mingi wakes you just before the sun rises.

“Come with me,” he says gently, keeping his voice low so as not to startle you from slumber. “There’s something I wish to show you.”

Mingi leads you up and around a small nearby hill, a beautiful pond stretching out before you. The water is as still as glass, and just as clear. You can see some wildlife faintly grazing around the edges, fish swimming beneath the surface of the pond. It makes you smile.

A few mountains can be seen rising in the distance, and the first rays of the morning sun begin to peek through their valleys. The tops of the surrounding trees begin to glow, the mist from the mountains rolling over the hills. Faintly, you can even hear birds beginning to sing their morning songs.

A small gasp of wonder escapes you as you see vibrant shades of pink, red, orange, and yellow light up the sky before you. The sun crests between the centre of the mountains, and you cannot help but to stare in awe at the beautiful sunrise spread out before your very eyes.

Blinking a few times, you can feel the familiar sting of tears beginning to line your vision. No one has ever done something like this for you, let alone shared in such a wonderful sight.

Standing here, you feel as if the whole world is spread out before you. A feeling you have never gotten to experience. Right now, you could be anything, do anything, or maybe even go anywhere.

For the first time in your life, you know what it feels like to be free.

Turning your head, you glance upwards to see Mingi already staring down at you. The same soft look rests on his features, his lips tugging upwards tenderly in a faint smile. His eyes shine with something you do not quite understand, but at the way the sunlight bathes his features in gold, you cannot help but feel that you do.

The hand you feel him place onto your back, right between your shoulder blades, is hesitant. Almost as if he expects you to pull away from him at any given moment. The fact that his touch is always so gentle now only makes your skin tingle pleasantly. For some reason, you just know that he’s also giving you the opportunity to pull away if need be.

Always, now, it is your choice. A choice you’ve never had in the past, nor ever been given the opportunity to take, even if you wanted to.

You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat, the tears that have welled in your eyes finally spilling over onto your cheeks. Though, for the first time in a long time, they aren’t out of pain or sadness. 

No, grief does not cling to your lashes this time. This time, only a seed of joy can be felt, feeling it cultivate within your chest and beginning to grow outwards until it reaches the very tips of your fingers. A seed of which is beginning to bloom, and all because of him.

Movement catches your attention, and you look down to see a fresh stem of red spider lilies held between the tips of his fingers. The old stem had started to wilt, the flowers dying as their petals fell from the once vibrant flowers given to you that morning at the tavern.

It is then that you realize that he was the one who gifted you that fresh stem all those mornings ago.

You cannot help it. Your heart skips a beat inside of your chest.

“Is this-“ you swallow the emotions building within your throat. “Is this for me?”

Mingi smiles softly, inclining his head gently as he holds the flower out to you.

Carefully, you reach out and take that brilliant flower from his hand. Your fingers curl around the stem, more tears falling over your cheeks as you hold it tightly against your chest, pressing it directly over your heart.

Pursing your lips to keep your chin from wobbling, you squeeze your eyes shut.

It’s real. This is real. You are choosing to believe that what is happening right now is all real. What’s even better is that it is for you. It’s all for you.

At the soft touch you feel caress your cheek, you know that you’ve made the right decision. The decision to believe, even if you’re still terrified of what it means to take that leap.

Blinking your eyes open, you glance upwards to see Mingi already staring down at you with the most tender look you’ve ever received from anybody resting on his features. You can feel his thumb gently stroking over the skin of your cheek, wiping at the trail of your tears in the process.

Slowly, and ever so gently, he pulls you in closer.

“I want to see you thrive,” his voice is barely above a whisper, but you still hear him loud and clear within the silence that the morning brings.

It’s as if the whole world has gone still around you, and all you can see in this moment is him.

“I want to nurture you, and make you the happiest you’ve ever been.” His gaze never leaves your own as he tilts your head upwards slightly. “You have the most captivating smile, and I wish to see it more often.”

Your lips part in a silent gasp, heart pounding erratically inside of your chest.

“I wish to be the cause of it, of your laughter, your joy,” he leans in closer, his eyes hooding over as he darts his gaze down to your lips. “For you, there is nothing I wouldn’t do.”

There’s a slight hitch to your breath as your free hand comes up to rest against his chest. You swear you feel a slight rumble beneath your fingertips in contentment, too.

Again, his gaze flits down to your lips, and your hand tightens over his shirt. You swallow the sudden dryness in your throat, clinging to him as he continues to hold you so tenderly in the palm of his hand.

“More than all of that, though,” he breathes, and you can feel the warmth of his body against your own, “I wish to see you bloom.”

The second those words escape him, he’s pressing his lips to your own. His one hand cups your face so gingerly, pulling you in even closer as his opposite arm wraps fully around your waist. You can feel his chest rumble beneath your fingers once more, and this time, there’s no denying the pleased growl that escapes him.

Your eyes flutter closed in bliss, breath catching as you hear his growl of content surround you. The kiss is sudden, but welcome, nonetheless, and you cannot help but lean into him slightly.

All too soon, he pulls away, resting his forehead against your own. The light of the morning sun surrounds you both, and only serves to make the other glow beneath the golden hue of the surrounding hills. A warmth that covers you both as you stare into each other’s eyes.

“I have grown to care for you, My Blossom,” his gaze holds nothing but tender fondness as he says this, his thumb gently stroking over the skin of your cheek. “I only hope you will grow to care for me, too.”

The hand you have resting on his chest slides upwards, carefully cupping the side of his face in your palm. You notice his eyes flutter shut almost immediately, leaning into your tentative touch.

“I know it won’t be easy,” he keeps his voice low as he revels in your touch, “but I will always keep you safe. Nothing will hurt you while I am here to protect you.”

Mingi blinks his eyes open, shifting the hand he had splayed over your back to rest over your own over his cheek. His dark eyes glint in the light of the morning sun, full of promise and hope. 

A look you’ve only ever dreamed of being on the receiving end of one day.

“Mingi,” the way you breathe out his name has his eyes fluttering closed in bliss once more. “I- I-“ you swallow the lump in your throat, “I think I’m starting to care for you, too.”

Your words have a brilliant smile tugging at his features. His eyes crinkle at the sides, and he stands back to his full height. Softly, he squeezes your hand in his own, intertwining your fingers together as he begins to lead you through the woods for the day.

“That’s good enough for me,” he hums, lightly swinging your hands back and forth between you. “The fact that you can come to care for a monster like me makes me the happiest creature in the world.”

Suddenly, you stop in your tracks, and Mingi turns to look at you with a furrowed brow.

“You are not a monster, Mingi.” Your voice is firm, albeit a little pained.

The furrow in his brow deepens, and he begins to speak, only for you to cut him off.

“I have lived with monsters my whole life, and you are the furthest thing from being one of them.”

The air around you goes still with tension, and you notice how dark the sudden look in Mingi’s eyes is. Not even the birds dare to speak as the sun dulls behind the canopy of trees.

“Who hurt you?” The words are but a low growl on his lips, his hand tightening subconsciously over your own.

You go to pull away, but Mingi tugs you back to him in an instant.

“Who. Hurt. You?” This time, he emphasizes each word carefully. 

His gaze is sharp, and he can barely control his breathing. Lips are pulled back over sharp teeth, and his claws threaten to unsheathe any second at the anger building within. Again, his hand tightens over your own and you end up crying out in pain, pulling yourself out of his grip as he recoils from the sound.

Remorse paints his features, but there is no hiding how dark his eyes still are. He attempts to step towards you, wanting to make sure that you’re okay, but you take a step back. The smell of fear fills the air, but not just any fear.

Your fear.

Mingi’s expression falls. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

You say nothing in response, cradling your hand protectively to your chest. That sprig of flowers acts like a beacon, and Mingi is suddenly hit with the memory of how he first found you leaning against that tree all those days ago.

He inhales sharply.

“Please,” his dark eyes are pained, and he reaches for you once more. “Forgive me. I do not know what came over me.”

You blink rapidly, reaching your hands up to rub at your eyes.

Lightly, you shake your head, taking a deep breath to calm your nerves. “That you could get angry for me, not even knowing what’s happened…”

“Much as I would like to know, I will not pry.” He replies, suddenly appearing much more calm than he was mere moments ago. “Know that I will always get upset at the thought of someone hurting you. It is in my nature to want to protect the things I care about. It will… take some getting used to to remind myself to control my strength around you, as well.”

Averting your gaze to the ground, a small warmth begins to bloom in your chest. The fact that he seems so earnest in his explanation has a tension releasing from your shoulders that you didn’t realize you had been holding onto. He is fae, after all. You know he is much stronger than you, and from what you’ve gathered, hasn’t been around humans all that often.

As terrifying as it is to admit, you trust him. He’s done nothing to deceive you from the start, and if his words are anything to go by, he never will.

Tentatively, he offers you his hand. “Shall we?”

Your eyes flit from his face to his open palm, taking a cautious step towards him. Not even a moment later, you place your hand softly in his own, and he laces your fingers together without a second thought. Though, this time, it feels as if he’s holding onto you even more carefully than before. A fact which both surprises and elates you at the same time.

“I didn’t know you could be this gentle.” The corners of your lips twitch upwards, admiring the warmth that radiates from his palm to yours.

“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” he hums, a slight grin tugging onto his features.

“As there are many things you do not know about me.” You agree lightly, trying, and failing, to hide your smile as he begins swinging your hands between the both of you again.

“And yet, I grow more curious about My Blossom every day,” he responds, his thumb beginning to rub softly over the back of your palm.

The heat that rises to your cheeks is involuntary, and you avert your gaze to the side shyly. Subconsciously, you squeeze his hand, and you hear him chuckle lowly in response.

“Well, then, General,” your voice is light, teasing. A tone you haven’t used with anyone in a long, long time. “What would you like to know?”

His grin widens, and he turns his head towards you. 

“Tell me everything.”

For the entirety of the day, the two of you talk. Conversation flows easily, and you get to know each other better. He tells you more about the keep, and why he chose that place to live. In return, you tell him a little bit about your hometown. However, as you talk about the field of red spider lilies that used to reside about two miles away from your house, you cannot prevent the sad smile that pulls onto your lips.

“It burned.” You recall with an expression akin to longing on your features.

“Then, I shall plant you a new one when we get home.”

His reply shocks you, and you cannot prevent the way your eyes go wide in response. The way that he says this so casually, too, has your heart swelling inside of your chest.

Mingi then goes on to tell you a little bit about his childhood. It’s gruesome, and wild. Everything you would expect for a redcap raised in this realm. Though, what surprises you the most is when he goes into detail about his moral code.

No wonder he is the way he is, and if you’re being honest with yourself, you wouldn’t want him any other way. It’s unexpected, but if you had to get stuck with any type of fae in this realm, you’re glad you got stuck with him.

It’s about an hour before the sun is supposed to set that your limp starts to become prominent again. You notice the way Mingi’s brow furrows in discontent, his gaze fixated on your right foot as he helps you sit down against a tree.

“Blossom, why is it that you have a limp?” His question is soft, his hands holding yours gently in his as he kneels beside you on the ground.

You stiffen, breath catching in your throat. Memories which you haven’t thought about since they happened flood your mind, and your chest tightens. Your lungs begin to ache as filling them with air suddenly becomes difficult, nearly beginning to hyperventilate.

Out of the corner of your eyes, you see that same monster covered in blood. Only this time, he’s holding a shovel.

Taking a deep breath in to ground yourself, you remind yourself that you are safe. Mingi will protect you from the monsters hidden in plain sight. He promised. 

You turn your gaze to meet his own, speaking softly, “That’s a story for another evening. Okay, Min?”

His eyebrows raise slightly, but he doesn’t press the matter. In fact, you believe he’s far too distracted by the name you’ve just called him, for you hear him let out a low giggle, his eyes crinkling in the corners as he smiles giddily.

“Wait right here,” he tells you as he stands back to his feet. “I’ll be back with some supplies in a little bit.”

“I can help, too,” you go to push yourself off of the ground and back to your feet.

“No.” Instantly, he’s crouched before you once more, hands placed gently on your shoulders to keep you seated in your spot. “You stay here and rest. Let me handle everything. I want to take care of you.”

“Okay,” you breathe out, looking up at him through your lashes.

You’ve never experienced this before. Always, it’s been you fending for yourself whenever you can. First came others, then if you had a rare moment to yourself, you would treat her to something. Though, as more and more time passed, those moments came few and far in-between, until even so much as thinking of doing something for yourself caused you to recoil back in horror.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Mingi smiles in response, leaning in to press his lips to your forehead before standing back to his feet. “I promise.”

True to his word, Mingi isn’t gone for more than an hour. He brings back with him some food and fresh water, along with the materials to build a small fire. One which he sets up quickly after handing you the food he found.

Once the fire is lit, Mingi shifts to sit beside you against the trunk of the tree you’re resting on.

“I thought I told you to eat,” his voice is low, his arm brushing against your own as he settles deeper against the wood at your back.

“I wanted to wait for you.” Comes your soft reply, holding out some berries he had picked for the both of you in the palm of your hand.

Carefully, he plucks up a fruit in his fingers. Only, instead of bringing it to his lips, he holds it to your own. You meet his gaze, and he only smiles at you, pressing the berry a little firmer against your mouth.

“Eat.” His voice is firm in his command, yet still tender all the same. “I will not until you do."

Parting your lips, you allow him to feed you the berry. He places it ever so gently onto your tongue, his thumb tracing over your bottom lip as the dark juice smears against your skin.

The sweetness of the fruit explodes onto your tastebuds as you bite down, chewing softly. You swallow, maintaining eye contact with him the whole time. You can hear your heartbeat ringing in your ears, and an actual thrill of excitement shoots through you. Quite a new feeling that you wish to feel again, and again, and again. With him.

One that gives you the courage to dart your tongue out, swiping at the tip of his thumb.

Mingi’s lips part, his eyes hooding over as he stares down at the way your tongue darts out to brush against his thumb a second time. He nearly moans at the feeling, chest rumbling deeply in contentment as he reluctantly pulls his hand away from your mouth.

The last thing he wants is to not be able to control himself around you, and scare you aware. He’s already tasted your fear, and he never wants to experience that bitter, repulsive scent ever again. He’s had enough of it to last a lifetime already.

A small smile begins to pull at his features as he watches you take a berry into your free hand. He cannot prevent the way his heart swells as you bring the fruit up to his lips, which eagerly part for the offering you provide for him. His eyes shine with that familiar tenderness, gazing upon you as if you are the brightest star lighting up his night sky.

To him, you are.

Slowly, carefully, Mingi wraps an arm around your shoulders. He shifts the slightest bit closer to you, but even if he senses the mildest form of discomfort from you, he will move away. Luckily, he doesn’t have to worry for too long, for you shuffle closer to him, tucking yourself against his side as you lean your head onto his chest.

“Is this okay?” He asks softly, his hand settling against the side of your waist.

Gently, you nod your head.

“More than okay.” The words are but a low hum as they fall from your lips. “I don’t-“ You take a small breath in. “I don’t think I’ve ever been held like this before.”

A pleased rumble shakes his chest, and Mingi pulls you in slightly closer into his side.

“How happy I am, then, that we get to experience this together.” 

The rest of the night is spent curled up in Mingi’s arms, of which he is more than happy to hold you in. You take turns feeding each other berries, along with the other fruit he’s gathered, and by the time the moon has risen high in the sky, you are fast asleep against his side.

Like that fateful night not quite yet a week ago, Mingi absolutely revels in the feeling of you in his arms. There is no greater feeling for him than your body pressed against his own, and the fact that he gets to take this time to admire you while you sleep causes his heart to swell inside of his chest.

You are so peaceful like this. So calm. You fit perfectly with him, and just like the first night he got to hold you while you slept, he traces each and every contour of your features. Everything he sees, he commits to memory, letting his gaze linger almost longingly on your lips as he recalls the feeling of them pressed against his own.

Mingi smiles, tracing a knuckle softly against your cheek. The way you still seem to lean into his touch, curling deeper against his side subconsciously, only makes his heart race. A pleasant tingle erupts beneath his skin wherever he feels you pressed against him, and all he wants is more.

There is nothing he wouldn’t do for you, and as Mingi rests with you beneath the light of the stars, he vows to himself to figure out who these monsters are that you spoke of earlier that day. Anybody who brings you pain, who makes or has made you suffer, does not deserve to live any longer. Not if he has anything to say about it.

He’ll show these monsters what a true beast looks like, all while proving that a real monster fights for you.

[nescaveckwriter]

Lighthouse

A/N: 🐞... Okayz my dearest love bugs, 💕 another one done for @jacklesversebingo 🥰 yayaness, I know its been a while though, But I hope y'all are gonna enjoy this one, I must say I'm super proud and, a little terrified as this is 'Supernatural' based 🫣🤭, so let me know what y'all think.🥰 Okayz much love🥰❤️🩷

Warnings: *18+ Only* Horror, Thriller, Mentions of blood, violence, angsty, little fluff, heartbreaking, drama.

Line: Tree, Clock, Rope

Characters: Dean x Fem Reader, Sam, Benny, Cas, Crowley

Words: 6700 😱🫣 I know I'm sorry.

Cover & Pictures: Pinterest, Canva, Google

Side Note: Please check out my Masterlist for more, epic stories🐞💕

The sky has turned into grey, dark clouds threatening too cover the earth with its darkness, the smell of rain is everywhere as it nourishes the earth, as you stand under the pouring rain, listening too him say, goodbye, letting the rain mix with the tears on your cheeks. Not being able too move a muscle, you just stood there unable to make a single sound, unable to ask him why, why after this long, did he want to break up with you, did he want to throw away the life you built. Weren't you enough for him no more,? Is there someone else? Why Now?

The way he said goodbye wasn't with a voice filled with anger, no, his emerald green eyes was sad, his voice almost breaking when he said "I need too let you go sweetheart" and his lips found yours instinctively, it was a soft, kiss, mixed with the taste of him, salt and rain. You didn't want him too leave, you wanted to grab ahold of him, and beg him too stay, but before you could, he got in that Chevy Impala, the engine roared and the tires screeched, as he drove off into the darkness, not a single star in the sky, its almost as if the magic of the moonlight left with him.

Its been a little over three months since he left you standing in the rain, like some dumb country song, but you somehow found a way too move through your everyday life, you were a hunter before you met Dean, and you still are, well in all honesty saving people is the only thing that got you through the days.

It isn't really a job you tell everyone about, oh heck no!, its more a work you keep too yourself, letting your family believe, your just a traveling failure, well you always did kind of feel like you lost your way over the years, but these days your numb. Your best friend Sam doesn't even talk too you anymore, you don't really have a lot of folks who you could call, and say "hey, ya know I'm not really doing well, I need a pick me up or a damn hug" no you always kept too yourself, not trusting anyone, but the day you met Dean and Sam on a hunt it changed.! Sam quickly became your best friend and well Dean soon became the only man you'll ever love, even though he had his issues. And then there was Castiel the angel, he has always felt like a beacon of hope, making you laugh with his "I don't understand that reference" sayings. But the day Dean walked out they all left, leaving you completely alone in this damn scary world. It's not the monsters that scares you, no that you get, but it's the people. Every single person you have met in your life has a hidden agenda, why can't they just be good people.

Sitting at the diner in the small town, were you were investigating strange disappearances, ordering a black coffee, the display with the different pies catching your eye. Your mind wanders off to Dean's birthday... You prepared all his favorite foods, burgers, bacon, fries, the greaser the better, and then you started with the making of his favorite pies. But somewhere along the way you forgot about the pie's in the oven, letting them burn to a crisp, after you rushed in, trying to save what's left of the charred goods, seeing it was disaster, you wouldn't be able to save it, you burst into tears, cussing yourself for messing up what's supposed to be the perfect day, you felt his strong arms pulling you towards his chest, staining his shirt with the wetness of your cheeks. He's breathe hot as he kissed you, in a loving, comforting way, reassuring you everything will be okay, it's just pie's not the end off the world.

He always did know how too comfort you, how too chase the darkness away, he was your lighthouse, so to say, showing you the way, back too the light. And now, now there's no more light too go home. No more home, just nothing.

Taking a sip of the now cold bitter coffee, that kind of taste like, old shoes, not that you'll know how that would taste like, but betting its something like this. Placing the cup down, sliding the dollar's underneath the half full cup on the diner table, you get up, throwing your ball cap on, hair hanging loose on your shoulders, taking your leather jacket and phone, you start too head out of the small town diner.  Walking towards your Harley Davidson, you've always liked the way, that bunch of metal, felt roaring as you sat on that leather seat, the wind rushing through your hair, the way those gas fumes, flowed through your veins, not even to talk about the adrenaline that went with it, oh damn, you felt about your Harley like Dean felt about his impala. Seeing a giant creep checking out your bike, leaning on it, irritation in your voice "excuse, what are you doing?"

His voice rough and unpleasant "why do you care, little missy"

Walking closer, your eyes darker than usual "that's my bike"

The bald man, with his long beard, hiding his tatted neck, started to laugh "No way such a small little thing can handle that sort of horse power"

"I'm only going to ask you nicely one more time, get off my damn bike!"

Crossing his arms in front of him, "Or what? You gonna call the little cops"

"No! I'm going to make you get off my bike"

"I'd like to see you try missy"

She really wasn't in the mood for this. So she tried to shove him off, but he was on the larger side and didn't really move a single damn inch. It just made him irritated "hey come here missy" he said as he grabbed a hold of your arm, you smiled, that made him look at you all confused, but he soon realized, he should not have messed with you, as you took his fingers, and started bending them backwards, bringing the big guy down to your size. With your free hand, you punched the sucker in the face. Got up on your bike, and drove down the road too the nearest bar you could find, for information and while you where there you might as well get something to drink.

The Black Chevy Impala roared as it parked in front of the diner, Dean and Sam got out, a big guy, with a black eye, just got off the ground as they started making their way towards the door, Dean looked at the guy a smirk on his face "What happened to you buddy?"

The man mumbled "crazy biker chick"

Dean just laughed, as he figured this chick was probably part of his gang, as the beaten up guy had a biker jacket with their logo on. He still smiled but he felt stabbing pains in his heart. His sweetheart was a 'biker chick' a swell, she could handle that roaring horsepower better than most men, and man!, was she tough, so fierce and fiery, so passionate and yet so gentle, vulnerable at times, so fragile, she cared more than most, people, and beautiful, so freaking beautiful, her smile could light up a room, he fell hard for her the first time he saw her, and it just grew from there he loved her , he still loved her, but he just had too walk away, for her own safety, everyone close too him get hurt or dies. And especially with everything going on, he couldn't risk it, if someone found out, that she wasn't just another hunter, no she was the love of his life, he'd never forgive himself if something would happen too her. Sam calling his name for the fourth time pulled him out of his deep thoughts, "Hey man, you with me?"

"Yeah, yeah, just thinking I need a drink not coffee"

Sam gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing his brother probably thought of her again, he just nods and says "okay sure let's go"

The only information she got was that, some of the missing folks were last seen close too a pig farm , on the outskirts of this town.

And now, now she just sat here swallowing the vodka, it was easier than too think that Dean aren't coming back, hating how she felt , how alone and miserable, how heartbroken, she really thought that she was stronger than this, but no, she's weak and pathetic, sobbing about a man, a damn man who left her in the pouring rain. What the hell was wrong with her, she never was the kind, to be good little wife material, who would cook for her husband and bake brownies for her children's school, but the sad truth was she wanted too be all that with Dean, she would've gave up hunting, too be his wife and the mother of his children. But clearly he didn't feel the same. Thumbing away a stray tear, she gestures to the bartender , for another. The music was loud and the alcohol made her slightly lightheaded, she knew she needed some air, sliding off the barstool, walking towards the exit, fumbling in her pockets for a packet of cigarettes, she only smokes when she drinks. Some guy, lit her cigarette, she just nods, thanking him with a smile as she stood in the crisp evening air, the air mixed with nicotine hit her lungs, letting a little cough escapes her lips. As she blows out the smoke, she heard that damn Chevy pull in, she couldn't miss it , Dean had a certain way if driving and it was him for sure. She just stood there, frozen in the darkness. "What the hell is he doing here" whispering underneath her breath. Hoping that he doesn't see her, knowing that she will burst out in tears the moment she tried to speak too him.

He wales past a couple of bikes, that's when he saw it, her bike, hard too miss it, on the rear bumper the lyrics of her favorite Bon Jovi song. He elbows his brother "Sam, she's here"

Sam looked at him shocked, "What? Are you sure"

Running his hand over his face "Of course I'm damn sure" clearing his throat "I can't see her, man, I just can't, I've missed her so much, it was hard enough too walk away from her that night, I won't be able to do it again"

Sam places his hand on his big brother shoulder "Don't you think, this whole protection thing your trying is dumb"

Dean's jaw clenched, "No, Everybody around me dies, and there's nothing I can do about it, I have to let her go"

Sam just shook his head, his known his brother felt like this for a while now, but it's gotten worse, his unsure why, but he will try and get through too him, Dean's only been happy, whenever he was with her. "Okay let's go"

Dean and Sam made their way towards the car, they're about to get in when they heard a spine chilling scream , Dean recognized her voice. He searches in the darkness, when he catches a glimpse of four men, throwing her in a black van. He didn't even realized it but he started running towards the van, as the last of them jumped in, he saw a glimpse of her, the last thing he heard, was her screaming his name and a gun shot, which brought him to a stop as he fell to the ground, chanting her name over and over, until his eyes fell closed.

Sam fired his gun towards the van, but couldn't get decent shots from that angle. He fell to his knees next to his brother, glancing at the bullet wound in his chest, the blood gushing out, he applied pressure on the wound, he could feel the life draining from his brother as he begged Castiel to come. Sam's eyes damp with tears, his heart pounding in his throat, a silent scream escaping his lip "Cas, please man, I need you Dean need's you"

You could hear the flutter of wings, when the celestial being landed, his face struck with concern "What happened?"

Sam glanced at the man in the trench coat, holding his brother in arms, "please, just help him Cas"

The angel approached his best friend, there was nothing quite as bad, as seeing him, in pain, placing his hand on Dean's shoulder and Sam's, the three men found themselves in a motel, Dean was still unconscious but breathing, Sam glanced at the angel, mouthing a "thank you"

Traces of the tears still evident on her cheeks as she recalled Dean getting shot, he was there, running towards her, he stilled cared. The four men watched her like a hawk, she cradled her legs in the corner, as if she's a animal trying too hide herself from the prey.

The van came to a stop, she knew something had to be done, so she took the knife she hid in her boots, covered it in her hand, she knew taking all four men was asking to much, so she'll have to isolate them. Take them one by one. The men double, maybe triple her size, but she aren't going down this way, without a fight.

As the two men , opened the door, she saw what looked like a barn, there where cages, with other people inside, seeing she's not the only one that needed saving, she slid the knife back in her boot. She needed more information than this, so she went with it. The man held her by her hair, threw her into a cage which had two other girls probably about round about 16 and 18, and much older man, in his late 60's maybe. Hitting the the floor, scraping her palms.

The older man helped her up, "you okay?"

"Yeah thanks never been better" the sarcasm rolled over her pressed lips.

A big guy, came standing against the cage, with a stupid smug on his round face. "When Ricky there told me about this little woman, who punched him, just for leaning against her bike, I knew I had too throw you in the ring"

She got to a standing position, striding closer, too this gigantic man, "What are you? A human trafficker , organ? What"

He laughed "None of the above, just a business man," he started walking away.

"What is he talking about?" Her eyes intensified "Does anyone know why we are here?"

She heard a man's voice coming from another cage, he was beaten pretty bad, "We are here too fight against each other, like the movie Condemned, apparently it happens in really life" he let out a defeated laugh. The whole barn filled with chatter, people gasping for air, as the initial shock took over. Those who haven't seen the movie, quickly got enlighten by those who have, the rich of the rich, places bets on the person, who they think will survive and it gets streamed on the dark web for everyone to watch.

There's a clock with a timer and the one who have killed all the other 'players' in that amount of time, gets to live another round. Some just cried, the others just quietly, sat in the corners of their cages, holding on too their knees, as if that's going to help, everywhere in that barn there's cages filled with silence and then those with chatter.

Then in the cage she's in, the two young teenage girls just hold on too each other, clinging for dear Life. The grey old guy, just kept mumbling too himself, "I can't kill these people" over and over.

Probably not the most polite thing in this situation but damn, it worked on her nerves, she's trying think of a solution, a plan something to save these people. But she was all out of ideas, to be honest, except maybe one, her back was against the cage, she silently started to talk to Cas, asking him to come and find her, but nothing, he didn't hear or he didn't want too, either way it was up too her.

Glancing down at the ground, then her leather boots she remembered the knife, she could use that too unlock the cage door, then start freeing the others, she took the last bit of hope in her hand, starting to put the blade in, turning and wiggling it, until she heard the click sound, she was overjoyed, she slowly opened the screeching steel door, every noise sounded as loud as thunder.

She could see the different keys, close to the barn entrance, almost walking on the balls of her feet, so that she didn't make a single sound, reaching for the keys, her fingertips barely touching it, she jumped into the air, grabbing ahold if it, she started making her way towards the first cage. Searching for the key that fits, the barn doors flung open, she recognized the guy, Ricky from earlier, and some other dude, who made her skin crawl , "Hey how'd you get out?" Ricky shouted.

"What you can see me?" She joked, something she always did, when she was very nervous.

The other guy ran to her, but she kicked him before he even could touch her, she still had the knife in hand, this big fella didn't say, much, he charged towards her, when that silver blade touched his arm, it made him squirm, "Oh that's just freaking lovely, what are you, a vamp? A wolfie?" She sneered

The moment he showed his, teeth she knew it was a werewolf, the other folks in the cages screamed, as they never saw such a creature.

"So this games rigged? Normal human being and creatures from the night, joining the game"

Surprised the wolf looked at her , a growl "your a hunter?"

Mischievous smile on her lips "why would you say that?" The wolf growled once again, as he charged towards your position, clawing your back, as he flung you against a cage, everything is swimming before her eyes, all you could make out was that she was flung against the beaten up man, he had the bluest eyes, which kind of reminded her about Castiel's eyes.

The wolf like creature came closer, looking for your blood, that's when the man stood up, black coat drenched in blood, unsure if it was his own, or some of the creature's his killed, the last time, his blue orbs, illuminated, bloodshot veins stretched like a roadmap in his eyes , his fangs came out revealing that his a vampire.

Laying there, you where left at the mercy of these two, but you were surprised when the vamp, took ahold of the wolf, smashing his head against the bars, he had this deep old time southern voice "leave her alone"

The man, glared at her and the vamp, picking her up, letting her sway like a sack of potatoes in the air. Ricky quickly came to open the cage, throwing her in by the vampire, "You can have her".

Knowing the open wounds made the situation worse, as it was like a magnet for the vamp, she tried too get up, too defend herself but, in that moment she was too weak.

The vamp, came closer towards her, his features returned to those of a man, his voice kind "I'm not going to hurt you, I'm Benny"

Shocked "Benny, like in Benny Lafitte? Dean's friend?"

He smiled, "I thought I recognized you, saw you once on his lock screen, asked him about this new women in his life, he told me you are the love of his life"

Smirking, "Yeah that's awhile ago I guess"

Confusion written all over his face, but before he could ask, the barn filled with gas, hearing Benny say "its to knock us out so they can take us to the next location" before you could find out more, the knock out gas started taking its toll.

His eyes flutter open, Sam and Cas both sharing the same concerned facial expressions, his voice croaky "what did something happen? Is.." struggling to form the words "is she gone?"

Sam spoke quickly, trying to reassure his big brother "No! We don't know, Cas can't pick up her location"

 Cas spoke "Wherever she's at, must be warded off with sigils"

Dean groaned when he sat up, "we have to save her, I can't loose her"

The three of them turned their heads when they heard the familiar phrase from Crowley "Hello Boys"

Dean immediately got up, pointing a finger at him, "Do you have something to do with her disappearance, tell me now!"

 Crowley gave him a sympathetic look, that lasted about an second "Squirrel I had nothing to do with her, but I know where you can find her"

Dean could not control the anger that intensified in his chest, he smashed Crowley against the nearest wall, his arm pressing against his throat his forest green eyes pierced the black ones, his voice low, and stern "Crowley if your messing with me, I will kill you, I swear I'll kill"

 With the flick of Crowley's fingers Dean flew across the room, he shouts, this whole situation clearly upsetting him as well. "She saved my damn life, why would I want something to happen to her, she cared enough to save me, ME!!!" Crowley shouted.

Sam hurried to help Dean up, recalling the saving Crowley is talking about, he was stuck in a devils trap, bounded with chains around his hands and neck, as some other hunter took out all his anger on Crowley, stabbing him over and over, when she came in, tried talking the man down, but he didn't see any reason as he thought Crowley was to blame for the death of his family, but he wasn't, he had nothing to do with it. As she was talking to this guy, she slowly started  to scratch the round red chalked circle on the floor with the heel of her boots, so that Crowley can break free, the line was finally broken, by clicking his fingers the chains shook loose and fell into a thousand pieces, the other hunter saw what she did, ran towards her, pushed the blade right through her upper torso. That's when Dean and Sam ran into, her for the first time, they where hunting the hunter who they thought was possessed but turns out he had such an amount of rage inside him, that whom ever got in his way, he'd kill.

Dean's harsh voice pulled Sam out of his thoughts, "Where is she Crowley"

"Well not only her , but other people as well, even Werewolves and vampires, you named it they have it, I know the location, but we have to go now," he clears his throat, "there's only one snag, neither can I nor Cass get in their, the damn sigils on the barns wall, wont let us through"

Dean's already halfway across the room, towards the door, "what are we waiting for"

In a matter of seconds the four of them stood In front of the barn on the pig farm, Sam is busy discussing a plan of action but Dean, already pushed the barn doors open, "what the hell Dean" the loudness in Sam's voice makes Dean face him, but he just shakes him off, not answering, too determined to safe her, he walks in, gun in hand, ready for anything, everywhere you look, all the cage doors stands open, not a single trace of anyone, something glistening on the floor catches his eye, its a rose gold chain with a heart shaped locket, he didn't need to turn it around, to see the engraved 'love you always D.W' to know its hers, he opens it anyways, glaring at the picture, both off them laughing, the way they looked at each other, you could feel the electricity, the love they shared, he folds it closed in his fisted hand, his eyes damp with emotion. He runs outside, punches Crowley straight in the face. Cas takes ahold of Dean's arm's demanding him to stop. The defeated look on his face is too much too bare for the three men looking at Dean, disappointed and unsure where to look next they start looking around the farm for clues, for something that can give him a glimpse of hope.

The strong sunrays, burning her eyes, as she opens them, the pain from last night's fight, let's her realize what's happening, she tries too move, but can't, searching for the reason, she sees the rope wrapped around her arms, and waist, too a tree, she tries too wiggle, to get out off the tight grip, that's when she hears a ticking of a clock tick-tock, tick-tock, it sounded incredibly loud, looking up to where the sounds came from, seeing giant speakers blaring the sound of a clock. A rough unpleasant voice spoke, game rules: "Everything goes, you can use any weapon you can find, to kill your opponent, and also remember the last one standing gets too live" he lets out a snotty laugh. "Oh yes, and contestants, we made the first kill very easy, if you can find contestant five, she's tied up and ready to kill, oh and give us a show" he laughs harder, then all of the sudden its dead silence, figuring she's contestant no: five, she'd better think of something to get out if this situation. Her words barely a whisper, "I don't even know why I try, but Cas are you there, Crowley, can someone hear me? Please I need someone"

The rustling of the leaves, let's her know there's someone, maybe it's Cas or Crowley, maybe its someone's who wants to take her as their first kill.

The large man with his black coat walks towards her.

He's voice hushed, "let me get you outta here"

"Oh darn, I'm so thankful its you Benny"

As he unties her, they hear rustling in the bushes, he hands her a knife, and they stand ready for action, back against back, three people came closer, it's the three she shared the cage with, she and Benny suggested they walk behind them, so that the two of them can protect them.

The further they walk the more danger they seem too run into, Benny takes the most werewolves, windigos and Leviathan's , as for you, you take most of the other human beings, who wants to attack the two teenage girls and old man.

You are bruised, beaten and torn up, unsure if your body is covered in your own blood or those of the enemies, you keep on going, grateful, that you had these people to protect, because if you had to be honest, if it weren't for them, you wouldn't fight so hard to survive, every now and then you get flashbacks of how Dean got shot, knowing it was fatal, you don't want to allow yourself to think that he could be really gone, there's this glimmer of hope that he might still be alive, maybe Sam helped him, maybe Cas or Crowley.

 Resting against a tree to catch your breath, you see the blood gushing down your arm, one of the men came at you with a damn axe, and in the fight he threw the axe towards you, pinning you against a tree, it must've been the adrenaline but you wiggled that axe, out of you arm, screaming while throwing it back at him, which ended up between his eyes.  You fell too your knees, the emotion welling up behind your eyes, you get caught off guard when someone or something picks you up in the air. A little weak, and confused all you can see is that your draped over the large man, with multiple tattoos shoulder, it didn't take long, too lose consciousness.

Dean could not believe what he just heard, both Cas and Crowley told him, that they heard you call out too them, they knew where you were, you where caught in Purgatory, damn Purgatory. What the hell is going on. It felt like someone took his very last breath. His been too Purgatory, It's no joke for sure, it changed him, the only person who made him whole was her, his sweetheart and now, now she's going through all of that.

Crowley spoke with his people, which revealed, that the one and only Dick Roman sits behind it all, with a connection in the real world, who takes normal people, of all ages just to make money, and feed his obsession of killing people.

His quiet, as he drives too the place where the portal opens to Purgatory, thinking about all the things there, so many monsters, dangers around every corner. He just hopes, his going to make it in time, she just has too be okay, has to be alive, squinting his eyes as he recalls what he had too do, too survive.

"Sweetheart you awake?" Rolling over too the right side of the bed, emerald green eyes looking back at you, "Baby?"

"Why do you look so surprised sweetheart"

"Uhmmm I'm not really sure, it feels so right yet so wrong" she smiled

Without a single word, Dean cups your face, places his lips on yours, its sweet, it's sensual, yet filled with passion. Breaking the kiss, you look at him, studying his face, the speck of hazel around the black pupil, the way, his freckles runs across his nose, almost like the milky way, the corners of his mouth, that is slightly curled in a smile, his plumps lips, that's slightly swollen from the kiss, the little stubble on his chin and cheeks, the way his jawline just kind of frames his picture perfect face, the way his deep smoky voice fills the air, and your body with a exhilarating energy, "Why are you looking at me like that?" He asked.

Your voice barely audible and brittle, "I just love you, I love you more than life itself"

 His voice calm, but certain "Marry Me"

Your jaw dropped, "What?"

He started to kiss your lips softly, his breathe hot as he said "Yes babe, I want you to be my wife?"

Searching his eyes your lips crept upwards into a smile, your voice sounded more brittle than you intended "Yes, yes Dean Winchester, I'll marry you"

The joy dancing in his green eyes, made you happy, even though a few stray tears rolled over your cheeks.

Feeling like your walking on cloud nine, then all of the sudden, you get this sharp pain in you ribs, unwillingly your eyes flutter open, gasping for air "what the hell?"

Looking around you, seeing your in some kind of room, chains around your wrists, hanging from what looks like the ceiling, clothing blood-soaked. Hair sticking to your face, sweat mixed with blood. Your feet barely touching the floor, it feels as if your arms is getting pulled out of their sockets if you move to much, your throat dry, realizing you must've been passed out, it wasn't really a dream, more like a memory, Dean did ask you too marry him, and then outta nowhere, two days later, you where left standing in the rain, the tears streaming down your face, unsure if it's about the way Dean left things, or the situation your currently thrown in.

Sighing, whispering to no one really "I'm tired, I'm so tired, I can't anymore and I don't want to anymore" head hanging down, looking at the floor, closing your eyes, wishing all this could be over, you heard heavy footsteps, laughter filling the dark air.

His voice smooth "All this turned out better than I could've imagined"

Confused you glare at him "okay, fine you win, get it over with"

Walking closer towards you, big smug on his face, "see, I can't deal with you yet, I know who you are" getting angrier now "I'll finally get my revenge, Dean will watch you die, he wanted to send me here, now I will take something precious from him"

Shocked to hear that he thinks Dean is still alive , she plays along maybe, it's her way out, Scoffing "Well sorry to hear you think he'd be coming to look for me, because we aren't together no more"

He laughs, "oh no, he is already here, searching for you, my men left him a little bread trail, as to where you are"

Furious now, you shake, trying to get loose, shouting "You leave Dean alone, kill me , but let him go please"

Clapping his hands together, "Ah, young love" he laughs harder "I am going to kill you, but Dean needs to watch, then I'll kill Sam, Cas and even Crowley, all while Dean has to watch"

Eyes wide, barely audible "They're all here"

His smug smile never leaving his face "oh yes, all of them, clearly they care, its so pathetic, you humans, you know that?"

Squinting her eyes, trying too fight the tears threatening to spill over, you care about all of them, more than you care to admit.  He just simply walks out of sight. The silence is deafening, the only thing she can hear is her heart racing, Dean's alive, he came looking for her. Somewhere between the excitement of hearing Dean's alive and the spine chilling silence, she lost consciousness.

 They hardly had too beat the crap out of some of the men, on their road to this half torn down, factory like building, all of them agreed, it felt like a trap, but Dean didn't give a damn, he needed to find her, save her and bring her home, he has been cursing himself internally, the whole damn way, if only he didn't freak out, but the moment he realized he wanted to marry her, be her husband, wishing he never said that, went on that hunt, saw how that ghost threw her against the wall, the pain she must've felt, he couldn't bear the thought of her getting hurt or worst getting killed, just because that's what he did, so saying goodbye, felt like the best thing to do, hoping she'll give up hunting, but he should've known better. He should have stayed by her side, he should have discussed his fears, the way he felt, but instead he went and broke her heart.

The four of them split up, there's to many halls, and doors too search, mostly the halls are filled with darkness, its filthy and disgusting, dried splattered blood on the walls, scattered human bones on the cement floors. There's scratching sounds coming from one of the rooms, the gun in Dean's hand is loaded, opening the door, unsure of what he's going to find, he's skin crawling as a bunch of rats, runs past him, some over his feet, slapping against his legs, whispering underneath his breath, "damn filth". He's heart, beating out of his chest, the more he walks in the darkness the more he can feel the darkness entering his mind, his heart, every grain of his very being.

He stopped in his tracks, the moment he saw her, hanging by chain's, her whole body is slumped over, hair covering her face, he can't make out if she's still breathing, for what felt like an eternity, he froze, almost too afraid to take a closer look. Striding closer till he's right in front of her, he gently takes her face in his hands, concern painted on his face, a burning pain in his chest, her beautiful face is bruised, and bloodied, her breathing faint, but still there, his voice hushed "Sweetheart, can you hear me"

Watching her open her eyes, was a beautiful site, she looked tired, a smile across her busted lips, "Dean,"

"Yes sweetheart I'm here, I'm sorry, I love you" he declared.

Sobbing now, "I... I thought I lost you forever"

"Baby, you'll always have me, always you hear me" he pleaded

Before she could answer a couple of men appeared out of the shadows. There were maybe six or seven, Dean got up, in a fighting stance ready to beat the crap out of them, he started punching and kicking his way, through the men, it wasn't until the last one hit the ground that he'd stop, blood splatters across his face, glancing over at her, he hears the familiar voice of Dick Roman "crashing the party are we?"

"Yeah well I didn't receive an invite so thought I'll invite myself" Dean smirked. He drew his gun, knowing it won't really help, but it's more a habit, "What do you want?" He questioned

Crude laughter fills the air, "I want you to pay Dean" he snapped his fingers, more men came running towards Dean, he tried his best, but he was one against, all of them, they over powered him, one clocked him against the head, in his unconscious state, they were tying him to a chair with chains, facing you.

It didn't take long before they were beating you, biting your lower lip, not wanting to give them the pleasure of seeing you in so much pain, you could taste the blood on the tip on your lip.

Dick Roman came walking towards you, dagger in hand, hoping he couldn't see the pain, and fear in your eyes, your eyes pierced his, he didn't say a single word, he pushed that dagger, through the skin and bone, wedging it between your ribs. Your scream filling the dark room.

Dean's eyes flung open, he's jaw clenched, he's voice angered and defeated "NO BABE" he shouted.

"Ah poor Dean Winchester" he laughed

Dean's green eyes, now almost black, "I'm going to kill, I promise you that"

Laughter filled the air, once again, it didn't last long though, surprised he glanced at them, Sam, Cas, Crowley and Benny, all four off them stood their bloodied and beaten, but ready to fight. All four of them started fighting and killing their way towards Dean and you, Crowley was the first one to stand next too Dean, his British voice almost inaudible "This belongs to you" he's face lit up with a sly smile.

Dean looked at him all confused, "I thought you threw this in the sea somewhere"

Crowley just shrugs his shoulders. The moment he placed that blade in Dean's hands he could feel the mark, turning a fiery red, the power pulsing through his veins, it didn't take long for the effects to take control of him, breaking loose out of the chain's, he faces Dick Roman, a smirk on his lips, he's features darkens. Taking that blade right too his chest, he kept going over and over, not stopping for a second, driving the blade further and deeper into his now lifeless body.

Sam tried to make him stop, even Cas, Benny and Crowley, but it didn't work.

Your voice brittle, revealing the pain, "Dean stop, please Baby"

Immediately stopping, he threw the blade down, running towards you, his eyes pleading, his voice soft "Sweetheart I'm so sorry" cupping your face, kissing your lips, holding you close to him, as Cas and Sam unlocks the chains, your body went limb, all you could feel is his hands holding you upright. Staring into his emerald green eyes, mouthing "I love you" the last thing you catches a glimpse off, was the light in his eyes as he replied "I love you too, Sweetheart, come back to me, come home please"

 It's been almost three years since that dreadful day, smiling now, if it weren't for Dean begging Cas to save you, you wouldn't be here baking your husband his birthday pie, getting ready for the barbeque, with your good friends Sam, Cas, Benny and yes even dear old Crowley.

Did you and the Winchester Brothers stop hunting, no, of course not, but the two of you have each other and that's all you'll ever need, whenever your lost, knowing Dean's your lighthouse showing you the way home, with those beautiful green eyes.

[sawtastic-sideblog]

Damien Haas x female!reader

Before we starting would like to say that the only thing I've written in months is research papers for school but I have finally written for Damien for the first time in years.

So just a couple things to keep in mind (triggers) there's talk of a horrible aunt and bad childhood and there are brief mentions of parental death and self harm I think that's it but if anything else let me know and I'll add it here.

That being said it's probably bad. To try to excuse it I was woken up early this morning and I've had a migraine since Thursday but I also feel like I'm not a great writer.

Anyway

Enjoy this Damien fluff

"Hello and welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shayne."

"I'm Amanda. Welcome Damien to our table of discussions."

"Hi, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. Big fan, big fan," Damien says, pretending to be nervous. They continue on with the conversation as you set your phone down to go do your normal Saturday chores.

You haven't had the time to listen to the newest Smosh Mouth this week. You've been incredibly busy with online school and being sick. Yes, you realize that you are older than most of your classmates, but you're proud of yourself for going back to pursue a degree in your interest. You have no plans to leave Smosh, but you really wanted this degree just to prove to your childhood self that you could.

Education was always super important to you and you never had the opportunity to go to college right out of high school. You taught yourself how to edit and put in many, many applications everywhere. Finally, after five years of trying to break into the industry, you got an email back from Smosh. You cried and screamed and jumped for joy when you landed the interview and when you got the editor position you sobbed. Partially out of happiness and excitement, but mostly out of relief.

When you were told the amount of money you'd be paid, you were shocked. You knew that you'd save it and use it for school. So, after working at Smosh for a year, you applied for online classes and haven't looked back sense. Only a few people know about you being in school, Ian, Anthony, anyone that you'd need to report to for you job, your best friends at work, Angela, Amanda, and Chanse, your brother, Jack, and his wife, Bella.

You have always been close to your brother despite a seven year age gap. He was on the football team in high school and college. Both teams absolutely adored you and you became the unofficial mascot. Where he went, you went and vice versa. You knew it was just to get you out of the house and away from your crazy aunt.

Your parents passed in a car accident when you were three and your mother's resentful sister was the closest relative who was able to take care of you. She was incredibly strict when it came to you. Jack could do whatever he pleased. You had to cook, clean, learn to sew, and basically just learn how to be a woman, according to Aunt Virginia. She tried to keep you from going to school and Jack would make sure you went. He would make sure you were able to do your homework and do whatever you wanted to do. It was a rough time, especially after Virginia kicked Jack out when he and his college sweetheart, Bella found out they were expecting without being married. You stayed there on your own for nine years becaue Virginia wouldn't let you leave. Discouraged it and made it impossible for you to move out in your home town.

When you got the job at Smosh, you had two months to find a place, move, and get settled. You had told Jack and he immediately told you that he was coming with you.

"What about Bella and Sadie?"

"They'll come with us, silly. Once we get out there, Bells can find work as a nurse, we can enroll Sadie in a good school, and I'll even look for something other than news station camera man."

"Are you sure? Sadie is only twelve she's going to resent you for making her leave her friends."

"Yeah, we've actually been planning to do this anyway. She's super excited about it. That dinner we have planned on Friday was when we were gonna tell you and tell you that you're coming with us. I guess we have to move our plans up."

That's what you did. Bella and Sadie went out there first and got the apartment settled as Jack trained his replacement and you slowly moved what little you had from Virginia's house, to Jack's. Then, in the middle of the night, you vanished. You didn't leave a note because why would you want the hateful old bitch to know where you went?

On your first day of work, Jack took you. You thought he was just going to drop you off but followed you inside.

"What are you doing?"

"I have an interview."

He got the job and now you two were known as one of the many dynamic duos. You're quiet and only really talk to Jack, Amanda, Chanse, or Angela. You do talk to Kiana, Tommy, and Spencer, but not as much as the others. You stayed behind the camera, but somehow became well known in the Fandom for your unique editing that captured the audience and enhanced the joke.

Your first "on camera" appearance was during the Shayne Guesses whre he guessed childhood photos. You submitted one of you in Jack's football helmet, hair covered, eyes almost fully obscured.

"Okay, this isn't fair. I can't see the hair or the eyes very well," Shayne complained.

"Yeah, but I thought this one was cuter. Once you see the answer you'll understand," Spencer explained.

After six months of working at Smosh, you could move into your own apartment. You stayed close to Jack, but you finally got your own space. That you always do a general clean of on Saturdays while listening to a podcast or the newest Reddit Stories before catching up of any homework you need to get done. Which is what you're doing now.

"Your can think your friends are beautiful. Like they have beautiful moments," Amanda says as you place the last of your dishes into the cabinet.

"Yeah, of course," Shayne agrees.

"Yeah, totally. I actually have an observation of a beautiful friend of ours," Damien annouces. Amanda gasps.

"Tell us, tell us, tell us," Amanda all but chants as you start a reset on your living room. Shayne and Damien both chuckle.

"Okay, so we have a couple of friends who work on the crew," he begins. He goes on to reveal the story is mainly about you. "We were at Jack's wedding about a week ago and I just saw her dancing with her niece, and smiling, and having fun. I know that she works hard. She comes in before us and stays until the slack message kicks her out. Then she goes home to do school work." Your head whips around to your phone and you make your way over to it.

"How do you know about that?" Amanda asks.

"Angela mentioned it. Is it something that I shouldn't know?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. I thought everyone knew, but we just didn't talk about it."

"What is she in school for?" Shayne asks. Amanda answers with you special interest and Damien takes the reigns of the conversation again.

"Anyway, I just know she has to be stressed out. I mean, I'm assuming and if I'm wrong I will apologize, but it just sounds like a super stressful situation to be in. Seeing her just let loose and have fun at the reception, after really only seeing her stone faced or with a small smile while talking to Jack. She was laughing, like throwing her head back laughing, and jumping and dancing with Jack and his wife and daughter. I saw her dancing with you, Angela, and Chanse at one point." Amanda nods at this.

"Yeah. I remember dancing to Take a Chance by Abba and we all just took turns pulling Chanse around," she beams as her tablemates laugh. They go off on a quick tangent about their time on the dancing floor and how, somehow, Bella, a Smosh fan since 2007, got Ian and Anthony to do a double decker twerk in their very nice suits.

"Yeah, but seeing her loving life and looking like she didn't have a care in the world other than celebrating her brother and sister in law and niece and the love they have for one another. I mean she was the best lady and we found out during speeches, which is the most I've heard her speak by the way, that they didn't have a greatest of childhoods, which just made the looks of pure happiness of her face so amazing. She was truly beautiful and I'll carry that memory with me for as long as she allows me to know her."

"I know what you mean. I didn't know she had teeth until the wedding. Like, she never smiles," Shayne jokes.

"I know she's not here today, but I hope she watches this when it comes out. Hopefully it'll make her feel better and it'll help her get over whatever it is she has quicker," Amanda says.

"Yeah, if you're watching this while you're still sick, feel better!" Damien says. You smile and wipe at your eyes as they change the subject to something else. You'd never really spoken Damien and you only speak to Shayne when Courtney pulls you into a conversation and he walks up to speak. But knowing that these guys consider you not only a friend but beautiful, as well, makes your heart swell a little.

A timer goes off on your phone just as the episode ends and you quickly pull up the newest Reddit Stories video, after turning off the timer. You go back to the kitchen and take the last dose of your medicine. You had somehow caught bronchitis and have been out of work for a week, but you finally felt better and wanted to get back into your normal routine.

You hear a text notification as you enter your living room and walk over to your phone again. It's a text from Ian.

Hey, I hope you're feeling better. Alé had notes from the all hands meeting sent to your email. We're going to have another one on Monday if you can make it.

Hey Ian, I feel great, thanks. Doctor cleared me yesterday. I'll be there!

He just sends back a thumbs up emoji. You chuckle and get back to your cleaning.

Monday morning rolls around and you are in the office by seven thirty, trying to get a head start on footage that had been give to you. By eleven you'd made good progress and Tommy had to physically pull you from your desk.

You sit at a table in the back with you laptop open to your school stuff. Your habit for every all hands meeting since nobody every sat near you. That is until today.

You can feel the nervous energy radiating off of Angela as she sits down beside you.

"I'm so sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I let it slip to Damien that you're in school."

"It's okay. It was bound to come out sooner or later. Especially with my associates degree coming to me in the mail soon."

"What? No way!" Angela shouts, gaining attention from a few people. You smile softly as you make eye contact with Chanse before rolling your eyes. He laughs as your eyes move to the figure sitting beside him. Your eyes meet Damien's and you give him the same small, but now nervous, smile you gave Chanse. You turn your attention back to Angela.

"Yeah, Gen Ed finally done," you say as you pull up the email. Angela makes noises of excitement as she reads, earning more stares. You try to hide behind the laptop, but you know you've been seen. Your face heats up and you pull the hood of your jacket over you hair. "Angela, please. You're making a scene."

"Sorry, I'm just so fucking excited for you!" She all but yells again as she pulls her feet under her. She stands while squatting in the chair and kind of bounces or jumps, you don't know. You should be use to her antics but you are still easily embarrassed.

"Good morning, everyone," Anthony starts, pulling everyone's attention from you. You remind yourself to get him like a billion cookies for this kindness. Angela situates herself in the chair as you open your last assignment instructions for the semester.

Two hours later, you're watching people mill about as they go back to work. You're assignment on hold until you can do some in depth research at home. You pretend not to notice silver hair approaching as you stand and slip into the crowd, quickly making your way back to your desk, ready to become an editing machine again.

You have no idea how late it is when you feel a tap on your shoulder. You jump and take off your headphones as you turn around. A soft, amused smile plays on Damien's lips as he watches your confusion.

"Hi?" You whisper your question.

"Hi, it's six o'clock." You check your phone and see that it is actually about ten past six and that you have a missed slack warning you to leave. You nod.

"So it is. Thank you," you say as you save the edit and start shutting down for the night.

"Is that a crochet Toothless?" Damien asks, motioning to a small dragon crocheted from black yarn with big glittering, green eyes. You nod again. "Did you make it?"

A third nod as you pick it up and hand it to him. He admires it and hands it back to you. You place it back on your desk, right under your monitor.

"Jack likes those movies too."

"Yeah, it means a lot to us. We have matching tattoos." You don't know why you said that, but Damien nods, enthusiastically.

"I've seen Jack's the black silhouette with the red part of the tail, right? On his forearm. Like where my sword is, but smaller."

"Yeah, that's it," you say. Before you can think about it, you're pulling up your sleeve. Damien looks down as you show off your tattoo. His fingers come up to trace the outline of the tattoo before following the scars that litter your arm down to your wrist. Silently, he lifts your arm and places a gentle kiss to the exposed skin. You look up at his face and you can tell even he seems surprised that he did that.

You take your arm back and pull down your sleeve. You turn to pack up your bag, expecting Damien to be gone when you turn around. You turn back to see he's still there, looking at your decorations on your desk. A picture of you and Jack at your high school graduation, the little Toothless, and a Lego bunny Sadie gave you.

"Can I walk you to your car?" You nod as Damien motions for you to lead the way. You're both silent as you walk. Once at your car Damien speaks. "If I overstepped a boundary by talking about you on the podcast, I apologize. I really hope that's not why you're not speaking to me."

You're taken aback for a moment before shaking your head.

"I'm not mad at you, Damien. I just don't talk. As far as the podcast goes, everything is okay. Spencer warned me about it and what was talked about, just not what was said. And what you said was very sweet and I appreciate it. It made me feel seen for once in my miserable life."

"I'm glad I could be of service," Damien says, seemingly at a loss for words.

"I have to go. I need to pick up my niece. She's been with a friend since I was sick and I told her friend's mom that I would pick her up after work."

"When are Jack and Bella back?"

"Next week."

"When are your classes over?"

"I'm working on my last assignment this week. It's due Friday."

Damien nods.

"Have a good night," he says and turns to walks to his car.

The next day you find a Lego rose set on your desk, after lunch. Spencer is there staring at the attached, unopened note while nursing a Kickstart.

"What are you doing?"

"Being disappointed that the Kickstart hasn't given me mutant powers like x-ray vision," he responds, looking up at you.

"What's this?"

"Legos."

"No shit."

"I don't know. It was just here when I came to talk to you. You're always here but you weren't and the roses were."

"I went to the restroom." You sit at your desk and take the note off the box and open the envelope.

"I'm trying to respect your privacy but I am curious."

"Go away, Spencer."

"Okay, bye," he says as he walks away making a horrible sipping sound, knowing you hate it.

Thank you for sharing with me yesterday. I remember Jack saying you don't like real flowers, so Legos. I'll always see you. - Damien

You smile and put the Legos and note in your bag. You turn back to your work and get lost in the latest Try Not To Laugh.

The rest of the week consists of thoughts of Damien, but not seeing him much if at all around the office.

Friday night, you're laying in bed after turning in your assignment, confident that you did great on it. As you start to drift off your mind wanders to the day with Damien in the office. The softness of his lips against your skin, his words from the podcast "she was truly beautiful and I'll carry that memory for as long as she allows me to know her," and the intestity in his gaze when he looked at you. Your eyes open wide as you shoot upright in bed.

"Fuck, I like him!" You shout into your apartment. You hope you didn't wake Sadie. You listen for a minute before deciding that your neice is still sleeping soundly. You lay bac down and grab your phone, pulling up fan compilations of Damien to fall asleep to.

One week later a bunch of the editors are going out to dinner. You decide not to and continue working until the five forty-five slack. You pack up you bag and turn to see Damien at th entrance to your little cubical.

"We meet again," you say. "Hello."

"Hi," he smiles. "I was wondering what you were doing tonight."

"Going home. My social meter is at it's limit for the week."

"Oh, I was going to see if you want to hang out but I get it." He looks a little disappoint. You get an idea.

"Come over. We can hang out."

"Really?"

"Sure, it could be fun. What could go wrong?"

You unlock your door and let Damien step in before you. You lock the door behind you out of habit. You quickly make your way to your office and put down your bag and go back to the kitchen and grab two glasses of water.

"Thank you," Damien says, looking towards the box of Legos on the table. "You haven't built them yet?"

"No, I've been busy with school stuff. I was planning on building them tonight. Wearing pajamas and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but still building them."

"Oh, if you'd feel more comfortable in pj's go ahead."

"No, it okay. You don't have any pj's."

"I actually do in my car. My laundry machines broke and I had to go to the laundromat. I've been too lazy to take my clothes inside."

"Go get them. We can have a pajama party." You smile as Damien looks surprised. He nods and stands up, excusing himself to his car. You run to your bedroom and change into a pair of light gray sweatpants and a black tank top. You hear Damien walk in and the lock click before his footsteps lead to the bathroom.

You emerge first and set to work making cups of hot chocolate with just a splash of vanilla. You're not sure when Damien walks in, but at some point you look over and he's leaning against the door frame with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pajama pants and a pizza place shirt. He has a fond smile on his face and you return it.

"You kind of match. Turtle pizza and being Shayne's favorite pizza place."

"You're my favorite pizza place," Damien says. His eyes go wide as you let out a giggle. You hold a mug out to him. He takes it and immediately goes to take a sip.

"Careful its-"

"Ow!" Damien almost shouts as he puts a hand to his mouth.

"Hot. Are you okay?" You ask. He nods but his brows are furrowed as he takes a deep breath. "Did you burn your lip?"

He nods as he sets his mug onto the counter. You set your downs beside his and walk to the freezer, grabbing an ice cube. He takes it and holds it to his lip. He pulls it away as he says, "Thank you. Sorry about that."

"It's fine. You were just being a silly goose and didn't listen." You pick up your mug and walk over to Damien as he holds his fingers to his lips again. With your free hand you grab his wrist and pull it away from his mouth. "You're fine." With that you stand on your toes and give a quick peck to his lips. "There all better now."

You walk around him, leaving him to make the next move. You look over your shoulder and see him still standing there. You shake your head and make your way to the couch. You deposit your mug on a coaster and open the box of Legos.

You're sat on the floor between the couch and coffee table, Buffy the Vapire Slayer on the television screen, and piles of organized Lego pieces in front of you as Damien walks in and sits to your right. You silently follow the directions as the roses come to life in front of you. On the screen, Buffy punches Spike and your eyes get caught on it. Your brain turns off as you mindlessly watch the episode.

A hand on your left shoulder brings you back to your apartment. You look over and notice how the black painted nails match your shirt. Your attention goes to your right. Damien's face is unreadable as he stares at the screen. Your hands find themselves on the Legos again. Another two episodes and you've finished the roses and you're leaning back against the couch, watching Giles explain something to the Scooby Gang. Your eyelids grow heavy and your head starts to nod.

"Hey, I think it's time for bed." Damien's voice is soft. You nod and shift to stand up, but find Damien's shoulder instead. You sag onto him and close your eyes fully. "Oh, no, no, the floor isn't comfortable, babe."

"It is right now," you say. Your tired brain barely registered the pet name.

"Come on, it's late. Let's get you to bed."

You allow him to pull you up and guide you to bed. As he pulls the covers over you, you grab his wrist.

"You okay?"

"If it's so late then stay the night. Just don't watch any more Buffy."

"I don't want to impose. I should go."

"Please stay. I want to hang out with you."

He nods and you smile. You drift off pretty quickly, but you feel a kiss pressed to your forehead and hear the light switch click and the door shut before you're pulled into sleep.

The next morning you walk into the living room, hearing the TV playing New Girl. Confused, you look to the couch and remember last night. You smile at the softly snoring Damien on your couch. You grab the mugs and water glasses from the table and take them to the kitchen. You decide you want to hear the sweet words Damien said about you again, so you turn on the Smosh Mouth episode.

After his speech, the sound from your phone stops. You spin around to find Damien standing there.

"Good morning," you smile at him.

"Good morning. I have a question."

"I have an answer."

"You've already listened to this podcast. Why are you listening to it again?"

"To hear the nice things you said about me."

"But you've got the real thing right here. Don't you want me to tell you new words?"

You think about it a second before shaking your head. He looks a little confused as he cocks his head to the side with a smile.

"Why not?"

"Because I'd rather have your mouth on my mouth," you say shrugging and turning back to your project of deep cleaning the oven. The very confused "huh?!" noise that comes from Damien pulls a silently laugh from you.

"So, you do like me?"

"I literally kissed you on the mouth."

"I thought you were joking or, like, I don't know. Maybe doing a bit."

"You go process and once I am done with the oven, I'll come talk."

"Yeah, okay," Damien says as he turns around. As you take the next hour to clean the oven, you hear Damien in the bathroom. You shouted to him that an extra toothbrush is in a drawer.

When you finish cleaning the oven, you wash your hands and make your way to the living room where Damien is watching New Girl again. You sit on the opposite side of the couch and he pauses the show.

"Hi," he says.

"Hello," you say back as you turn your body towards him and cross your legs.

"So, you like me?"

"Yes."

"And I like you."

"Yes."

"What are we going to do about it?"

"Date? Make out? Fuck? I'm down for any and all of it."

He smiles and leans toward you. His hand goes to your knee closest to the couch.

"So, you don't mind if I do this?"

You shake your head. He brings his knee up to prop up on as his hands trail up to find your waist.

"Or this?"

You shake your head again and he leans fully over you as you lay back. He's holding himself on the arm of the couch to hover you. He brings his lips to yours in a quick, teasing kiss.

"Or this."

"Please keep doing that."

He smiles fondly at you as he pulls back and sits back down on the couch, pulling you into a sitting position.

"I like you, like, a lot and I want this to be something."

"I want the same."

"Can I take you on a date?"

You nod and grab his hand. You play with his fingers and you two talk about where you're going to go, what your relationship status is, and when and if you'll tell the fans. When you've settled everything for the time being he leans back and pulls you on top of him. He turns on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the twonof you cuddle as you watch.

"Hey, wait a second."

"What's up?"

You shift to where you can reach his lips and kiss him. His hands find a home on your wait and neck as yours perch on his chest and cheek. He deepens the kiss and pulls you closer.

"They got the mustard out!" Sounds from the television and you break away, laughing and slightly out of breath.

"Dude?"

"Shut up, this is my favorite episode."

He chuckles and holds you close as you cuddle and watch your favorite episode of your favorite show.

[choke-me-joey]

Ch1/Ch2

Summary: As Joe's long-term girlfriend, you reflect on your relationship over the last 4 years.

Content warning: 18+ so minors are not welcome, real person fiction (don't like, don't read, don't bitch), smut, fluff, angst, probably inaccurate timelines and processes but does anyone really care?, alcohol use, smoking...if I've missed anything please let me know!!

Author's note: when I was deep in my Dan and Phil phase I wrote this, published it on AO3 and then took it down so before anyone says "Hey this looks familiar" don't panic, I'm not stealing anyone's work and I can prove it lmao. Thanks to @harrys-four-nipples for reading this first chapter and telling me it wasn't as shit as I thought. Love you girl 🥰 feedback is always appreciated, let me know if you'd like me to continue this!

Paris

December 2022

After the craziest year anyone could ever imagine, exploring and staying in a variety of hotels across the globe, the last convention of 2022 was finally happening. You had been by your boyfriend's side the entire time; your job as a freelance photographer/social media specialist pretty much allowed you to travel anywhere and everywhere and luckily Joe's team were on board with you providing his official con photos and managing his social media. But as ideal as that sounds, it hadnt been easy.

It had been one of the best experiences of your life, watching the man that you love so, so much bring so much joy to the millions of people around the world who adored him. Despite being at every convention, watching all the fan interactions and all the panels, you were never bored. It hadn't all been perfect though, in fact it had been extremely trying at times, what with Joe being so damn exhausted there was barely any 'you' time, or fans getting a little bit too crazy at the meet and greets, but you wouldn't have traded it for the world.

You'd think that being cooped up on planes, in hotel rooms and travelling constatnly for months on end, spending almost every waking minute of the day together would have seriously damaged your relationship, but in all honesty, it brought you and Joe closer together. Sure, there have been times where you’ve wanted to smother each other with the shitty hotel pillows, but what couple doesn't argue? Without the option of slamming the bedroom door shut and sulking, you've learnt to just talk it out, and move on, and things have just gotten better and better. You had just celebrated our 4 year anniversary in Tokyo last month, and Jamie was constantly teasing you, telling you if you didn't get a ring this Christmas, you two could just run away together instead.

Of course, Joe had gotten super salty at the joke, seemingly never being able to escape the never ending question from his family and friends of when he was finally going to pop the question. He didn't need it from Jamie now too. He was going to do it, he just didn't want to rush it after all.

As it was the last con of 2022, Joe's team had given you some time off to just enjoy the convention, acknowledging that you had worked through your anniversary in Japan. This meant you could actually walk around the con and hang out with some of your friends, and enjoy the panels, which you were grateful for. You had some time to chat with Joe's dad too, which was always a good time, you got on so well with him and it was nice to see just how proud he was of his son.

Although you had been together for 4 years now, you and Joe weren't quite comfortable with going public with your relationship just yet. Joe had sky rocketed to fame overnight and his fanbase could be a little...intense. They went into a frenzy if he was spotted within 5 feet of another girl, and said girls were always stalked and harassed online and Joe didn't want that for you. You'd been pretty good at hiding it so far, most fans just thinking you were part of Joe's management team always there to keep him on schedule. It was a bit shit not being able to hold his hand or give him a hug in public but when the time was right, you both agreed you would go public.

You had headed back to the hotel a little before the con was over, Joe would no doubt get waylaid by fans outside the convention centre and you'd said you would order you both some food and run a bath for him so he could just relax now he was done for the Christmas period. New Orleans was a little after New Years so you'd have time to explore Paris, get home for Christmas and see in the New Year together.

Joe practically collapses through the door and you run to hug him, you were both desperate to touch each other after a long day of pretending to be work friends.

"Hi," you mumbled into his neck. "Last one for this year done, babe. I'm so proud of you."

He doesn't respond, he's holding onto you as if someone was threatening to take you away from him. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I love you so much," he whispers. "Thank you."

"Joe, you don't need to thank-"

"Yeah, I do. I just thought that you've been there from the very start, and you've worked so hard, putting up with all my shit and you've been so supportive. I couldn't have done it without you." He sniffs, looking a little emotional. "Tonight was the first night I've actually been able to see you and not your camera, and knowing you were actually there, right in front of me, like, everything from the past 4 years went through my head and I could see you smiling at me, and the fans and I just..." he trails off, at a loss for words. You kiss his cheek, your own eyes welling up.

"You're such a soppy git, Joe." You tease him, but he knows you're joking.

"Shut up, you're just as soppy. " He laughs, poking you in the side gently. You poke my tongue out at him and he crosses his eyes in response, before my phone buzzes to let me know our food has been delivered to the hotel lobby. You break away from Joe, kissing his cheek and heading downstairs to grab your food.

You both scoff down your food, both of you having been way too busy to really eat a proper meal today, and then Joe gets into the bath. He tries to persuade you to join him, but honestly the bathtub here was smaller than the one at home, and even that could be a struggle to fit the both of you in, so you decline, changing into your pyjamas and watching some random show on TV and scrolling through your phone, replying to messages in the Quinn family group chat and your own family group chat.

You can't help but bite your lip in appreciation as Joe comes back into the bedroom, a towel around his waist and his curls dripping. He makes his way over to his suitcase in search for a pair of clean boxers. Your eyes scan over his bare torso, his broad shoulders, sharp collarbones, toned arms and his perfect stomach with a dusting of dark hair disappearing into the towel. He feels your eyes on him, standing up and turning around.

"What?" He smirks, stifling a yawn. You return his smirk, stretching a little.

"Nothing, just admiring my boyfriend. That alright with you?"

"Depends, can I ogle you like a pervert the next time you come out in just a towel?" Joe jokes, quickly pulling his boxers on under his towel, pulling it off and hanging it back up in the bathroom, before crawling on the bed and collapsing on his stomach, sighing heavily.

"You do anyway, I'm just more subtle about my staring, Quinn."

"You're just as pervy as me, Y/N, dont even try and pretend you're not. " he laughs, turning onto his side, pulling you down and wrapping his arm around you. You cuddle into him, burying your face in his neck.

"Difference is, Joseph, the whole Internet can see what a flirt you are, nobody has dirt on me."

"M'too tired for your smart arse right now."

"You like my smart arse." You grin into his skin, and he chuckles, the sound rumbling in his throat.

"I like your smart everything," he mumbles, kissing the top of your head. You sigh in response, enjoying the feeling of him cuddled up to you. "M'so tired. And my back is killing me."

"Did you twinge it again?"

"Mm. Hurts."

You untangle myself from him and roll off the bed, rummaging through your suitcases until you find the baby oil you always use to keep your skin moisturised after a shower. You shake it up as you walk towards the bed. "On your stomach, babe."

"That is the most terrifying thing you could say to me whilst holding baby oil." He eyes the bottle in your hands suspiciously, but does what you've said anyway.

"I believe that would actually be 'face down, ass up and just relax'." You smirk, climbing back on the bed, straddling his legs. He groans dramatically, making you roll your eyes and laugh. "You're such a drama queen, babe."

"Making a living off of it, aren't I?"

"Yeah, yeah, shut up Mr Man of the Year." You quip, opening the bottle and pour some of the oil into your hands, rubbing them together to warm it up before pressing your palms against his shoulder blades. You apply just the amount of pressure that you know he likes, rubbing his flawless skin. "That okay?"

He responds by letting out a quiet moan of approval.

"How did I get so lucky?" Joe groans into the pillow as you continue to rub his shoulders and upper back, trying your best to work out the knots in his muscles. You smile, placing a kiss to the back of his neck that makes him shiver slightly.

"You elbowed me in the tits on the Underground and made me spill my coffee all over myself." You chuckle, adjusting your position on his legs so you could massage further down.

"The one time in my whole life that me being a clumsy twat has actually worked out in my favour." Joe's voice is muffled by the pillow, but you can tell he's smiling. He grunts in pleasure as you knead his lower back gently.

"Meh, you're just lucky I thought you were hot." You teased, gently poking him in the sides. He chuckles softly. "And you were, and still can be, so socially awkward, it was endearing."

"Mm, love you." He mumbles, and you know he's slowly falling asleep by the way his body is relaxing beneath you.

"Love you too, babe." You whisper back, moving off of his back and into bed next to him, pulling the covers over both of you. Ypu push his curls back from over his face. "Always have, always will." You kiss his temple and turn off the bedside lamp, letting him sleep off the post convention exhaustion whilst you take advantage of the good selection of TV channels the hotel has.

A few hours later, you're still awake and on your phone, scrolling through Instagram, the TV long turned off. You're laid on your side facing away from your currently snoring boyfriend. Joe grumbles in his sleep and rolls over, moulding his body around yours and spooning you. You feel something poking you in your bum and smirk to yourself, wiggling your butt back against him.

"Hmm, you still awake?" Joe whispers, his voice rough with sleep and exhaustion, one of his hands running over your thigh.

"Mm, I didn't wake you up, did I?" You reply, shivering in delight as his lips graze your neck. You roll over to face him, and he moves your leg on top of his, moving your bodies closer together as he kisses you hard, his hands wandering around to your ass and squeezing it.

Oh.

You see where this is going.

"Are you sure you're up to this, Joe? You're exhausted." You say quietly, trying your best to control your breathing after you break away. Thanks to your busy schedules, it been at least two weeks since you'd last had sex. You snuck in whatever you could, but mostly it was just heavy make out sessions or occasionally a hand and/or blow job to help with Joe's anxiety levels. You were practically soaked already and he'd barely touched you.

"Never too tired for you," he mumbles, pecking your lips softly, and slowly lifting up the hem of your (his) shirt. "Off?"

You nod, and you both work together to rid you of the oversized shirt. "C'mere," he grunts, rolling you on top of him, his hands on your hips as he looks up at me.

"Lazy," you tease, your skin feeling like it's on fire as he runs his hands up your sides.

"Beautiful." He responds, giving you that little smile that makes your heart melt every time. It's a smile that only you get to see, and it's during your intimate moments like this that he smiles like that, and you fall in love with him all over again. You hum and lean down, kissing him passionately, your tongues dancing around each other. His hands return to your hips, pushing them down against his crotch as he lifts his hips up, and the friction and heat makes you both moan. You nibble on his bottom lip, which you know drives him crazy, before moving to kiss his jawline and neck, a somewhat external G-spot for him. "Fuck..."

"Well, if you want, I mean, I was just gonna suck you off and then take care of myself," you grin against his skin, and he responds by slapping your ass lightly. In return, you bite gently on his collarbone, and he grunts, the noise going straight in between your legs. "What do you want, Joe? Tell me."

"Wanna fuck you," he growls, turning his head and capturing your bottom lip between his teeth and tugging gently. "Wanna be inside you so bad, baby, please."

You whimper, nodding. Foreplay would have to wait for tonight.

You sit up and awkwardly peel off your underwear, throwing it somewhere in the room, deciding you'd find it in the morning. You gently palm Joe's cock through his boxers, making him grunt and moan your name loudly, before pulling them down his legs, and he kicks them off his feet. You take his cock into your hand, squeezing gently and stroking him a few times. "Please, baby, m'not gonna last long..." You'll let him off for that, it really has been forever since you last fucked. You reach across to the bedside table, grabbing a condom from your makeup bag (damn your birth control prescription running out before you'd realised) and tearing it open. He holds his hands out to put it on himself, but you slap them away, rolling it on him as slowly as possible, making him grit his teeth, grunt and buck his hips slightly.

Deciding to be a bit more of a tease, you hover above him for a few seconds, grinding down ever so slightly. He grips your hips so tight there will definitely be bruises in the morning, and he bites his lip, whimpering and cursing. You decide to let him off, because you want this just as much as he does, and you place the head of his cock at your dripping pussy, slowly sinking down onto him. He throws his head back and moans, a little too loudly, as do you. "God, I missed this...missed you."

"I missed you too," you sigh, placing your hands on his chest, giving yourself a bit of leverage before you start to move your hips. "Fuck, Joe, you feel so fucking good..." as much as you want this to last, you know it won't. You can already feel your orgasm growing as you grind down against him. He bucks his hips up, his cock brushing my g-spot. "Oh my god, Joe!"

"Fuck," he growls, his breathing heavy. "Faster, baby, please, I-" he cuts himself off with a moan as you obey. "Shit, fuck!"

"You're so loud," you giggle breathlessly, gasping as he places his thumb on your clit and rubs in time with your thrusts. "We're gonna get noise complai-AH, FUCK, JOE!"

"I'm the loud one, am I?" Fucking asshole.

"Shut up," You gasp, as he sits up, wrapping your legs around him and attaches his lips to your collarbone, sucking and biting as you move together. You can tell he's getting close from the way his breath is coming out in pants, and his moans are getting more desperate sounding. He rests his forehead against your shoulder, and you run your fingers through his curly hair, and he looks up at you.

"Kiss me," he whispers, and of course, you do. "M'getting close."

"Me too," you whisper back, and he reaches between you to stroke your clit. "Joe, I-"

"I know."

The room is filled with your moans, and heavy breathing as you both get closer and closer to the edge. Joe moves his hand and lies you down on the bed, so he's on top. He winks at you, and smirks as he puts your legs around his waist, and his hands either side of your head. He ducks down and kisses you softly before moving his hips, fucking you hard and fast, the way he knows you like it.

"Oh,my god Joe, I'm gonna cum!" You moan, digging your nails into his back.

"Do it, wanna feel you cum for me," he groans, and all it takes is him angling his hips just right, and you're coming, moaning his name probably way too loud, your whole body shaking. Joe curses and stills, pushing his cock inside you one last time as he cums into the condom, hard, his head dropping onto your shoulder as he whispers your name, telling you he loves you. You say it back, stroking his neck gently as he collapses on top of you, his head on your chest. "You're amazing."

"I think you'll find that's you, babe." You say breathlessly, grinning like a fool.

"I am pretty fucking good in bed, aren't I?" Joe grins, a teasing lilt to his voice.

"You always know what to say...so romantic," you roll your eyes, poking him in the tummy.

"Mhmm, you're very lucky. I mean, I even make sure you cum every single time we fuck, if that's not true love, I don't know what is." He pulls off the condom, tying it and throwing it into the bedside bin.

"Be still my beating heart!" You laugh and kiss the top of his head, rolling out from underneath him. He pouts, reaching out for you with grabby hands. "Joe, as much as I'd love to cuddle right now, I seriously need to shower after that. Wanna come with?"

"Depends, you might have to roll me, you've worn me out." he yawns, sitting up on the bed. "Besides, I already had a bath. Can't you just give me a sponge bath or something so I don't have to move?"

"Again, lazy. And I know you already showered, but if you think I'm cuddling with you when you smell like sweat and sex, you can fuck right off." You tease, grinning with your tongue poking between your teeth. You turn around, heading into the bathroom and turning on the shower. After waiting for the water to warm up, you step in, relishing the warmth cascading over you. A few minute later, you feel Joe's arms wrap around your waist and his body pressing up against yours. You stand in silence for a few moments, letting water fall down over you both. He then turns you around in his arms so you're facing him, your arms around his neck.

"Y'know, we could have just done it in here, that way we could be in bed right now." He says, flicking his wet hair out of his eyes. You run your fingers over the short hairs at the back of his neck as he leans his forehead against yours.

"Hey, I'm not the one who fell asleep before we'd even had a chance to do anything."

His face falls a little. "I'm sorry, I've been kind of a shitty boyfriend recently, haven't I?"

"What are you talking about?" You frown up at him, his beautiful brown eyes avoiding yours.

"Well, just with conventions and appearances and everything, and how busy we've been, I haven't had time to just...be with you, y'know?"

"Joe, we live together, we travel together, we're with each other every day almost-"

"That's not what I mean, we haven't been on a date in literally forever, I was at the con in Tokyo the entire day of our anniversary, and my dad was with us all day before that, for fucks sake!"

"Your dad is pretty much with us all the time, babe. It doesnt bother me, you know how much I love him. Turn around." You say, squirting some shampoo into your hand and massaging his scalp. He sighs.

"See, this is what I mean. You do all this nice stuff for me, like the back rubs, the food runs, the surprise blowies-"

"Which I do because I want to, not because I feel like I have to." You take the shower head off the wall and rinse his hair out, before running some conditioner through it. "I love you, and I know exactly what being with you entails. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I got salty about everything?"

"A normal one." Joe retorts, turning back around and gesturing for you to turn your back to him so he can wash your hair for you. "And I'm glad you're not, I just feel bad. You do everything for me and I can't even give you five minutes recently."

You don't respond, revelling in the feel of his fingers on your scalp, massaging in the shampoo. You hum appreciatively. He rinses out the shampoo and runs conditioner through your hair, making sure to cover every inch. "When we get home, I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Joe-"

"Please? We can go out and celebrate our anniversary properly, dinner, drinks, a movie, whatever you want."

You turn back around to face him. "What I want, is to stay in, order Chinese, shag and then fall asleep on the sofa with you. Joe you don't have to take me out, or buy me shit to make me feel like you love me. I know you love me, without all the materialistic crap, okay?"

He said nothing, instead he looked at you his eyes looking a little misty. He was an emotional mess tonight, but you couldn't really blame him. He blinked a couple of times, and kissed you on the nose.

"Turn around, you sap." He mumbled, giving you a small smile. He basically meant 'stop before you make me cry' in fewer words. You laughed softly, before turning back around so he could rinse your hair and his. Once you're clean, you step out and dry yourselves off, and you put on Joe's shirt again, this time pairing it with some pyjama shorts. You quickly dry my hair before getting back into bed, settling down with your head on his chest and his arms around you. "See, isn't this better than standing up and actually moving?"

"Mm," you sigh, already feeling your eyes getting heavy. "I miss our bed though."

"Me too, when we get home we are gonna spoon so fucking hard in bed for like a week." He mumbles into your hair.

"What about food and stuff?" You look up at him, raising an eyebrow. He laughs.

"Of all the things you're worried about, I love how food is at the top of that list. I fucking love you." He kisses the top of your head and switches off the bedside light. "Maybe we can persuade Wes to bring us breakfast in bed."

"Oh yeah, I can totally see him being okay with that," you laugh, my hand resting on Joe's stomach. "If anything, you owe me breakfast in bed after all these bloody photos I've taken of you. Know how hard it is to make you look good mid sentence?"

"Ouch, low blow, babe."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. You know I love looking at you, chocolate button eyes." You tease, laughing as he groans into his pillow.

"I need to learn to think before I divulge all this stuff. I'm never shaking that am I?"

"Never ever."

[deathbxnny]

Hello can I request a honkai star rail x male genshin impact reader

The reader is the older brother of ningguang and also very rich and his was know for his great title " the lord of gold "

And he really love to give gifts to a person he really love or like

And he has a geo vision and is a catalyst

The character is gepard, welt, dan heng, jing yuan and blade and what is their reaction of him giving lots of gifts

-----♡

A/N: Hello! I was a little confused by you sending this request, as you've already requested something similar to this, but that's alright! Also if you're ever unsure of whether my requests are open or not, please check my profile bio!<33

Additionally, I have a limit of 4 characters per request at the moment, due to me having many requests to go through! So I had to leave out Dan Heng for this one! I'm sorry, if I've disappointed you with this and hope you can still enjoy it! Thank you!<33

Content: Fluff, established relationship, reader just spoiling everyone, sfw

Reader is asked to be male, but pronouns aren't mentioned in this!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》Gepard Landau

Gepard was impressed by your status and was quite proud to have an s/o like you. He also made sure to give your sister a good impression of himself, as he didn't want to embarrass or disappoint you in any way. Even with you reassuring him that there is no need for it, he'll still do his best for you.

With that said, he gets very flustered, whenever you spoil him half to death with anything he as much as glances at. You never expect anything in return and usually tell him that there is no need for him to give you anything, but he'll still try to return the favour by spoiling you back in his own ways. Whether it be through materialistic things or giving you endless affection.

He loves seeing you fight alongside him, especially when he can observe your Geo vision in action. That usually leads to him to also inspect your catalyst in interest, as he mentally goes through it's usefulness in battle. He's just impressed with everything about you.

-----♡

》Welt Yang

Welt treats you like he treats everyone else, as he doesn't want you to feel out of place with him. You appreciate it, considering how demanding your job and life in general can be. Welt gives you a sense of normalcy that you really crave and need. Especially as your sister also approves of him for his calm and collected demeanor around you.

And for that, you usually spoil him with everything he wants and needs as a thank you. Or at least you attempt to, since he usually tries telling you that he has no need for all of these things, when all he really needs is you. He always has a way of flustering you so easily with minimal effort, that just makes you want to spoil him even more.

He enjoys seeing you use your abilities, mainly as he wants to know everything about them. Your Geo vision especially interests him. So that usually ends up with him asking you to tell him all about your powers, as he listens to you intently and writes down every little detail.

-----♡

》Jing Yuan

Jing Yuan never makes a big deal out of your rank, as you never make one out of his. To him, you are simply his dear lover, who just happens to be super rich and powerful. He treats your sister with the same respect, which earns him her approval rather quickly with ease. His charms are just too hard to resist, after all.

And you seem to know that quite well, as you spoil him at any chance you get. He does the same with you, so it's only fair. He doesn't mind your attention and love at all and even embraces it willingly with open arms. He keeps anything and everything you give him too.

He's proud of how powerful and strong you are in battle and often asks you to train with him. He's fascinated by your abilities and likes to listen to you talk about them. He'll definitely keep every detail in mind for future reference.

-----♡

》Blade

Blade doesn't care for your status or your money, as he fell in love with you and only you. Everything else doesn't matter to him. He has a hard time getting along with your sister, due to his disinterest in upkeeping anyone's reputation, but he'll try to at least be somewhat civil with her on your request. He can't really say no to you after all, as you are his only weakness, which is something he'd never admit.

He doesn't want you spoiling him, or at least, that's what he claims. You don't miss the small spark in his eyes, whenever you give him something you know he'll like. He'll be stubborn and act indifferent, whilst still accepting your gifts nearly eagerly. You find it quite amusing and adorable, to say the least.

He is most interested in your capabilities on the battlefield and is secretly impressed by your strength. He absolutely loves fighting alongside you, as it makes him feel even more powerfully. He never directly compliments you for it, but you still know how much he appreciates you.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was okay! Thank you again for the request and sorry, that I had to limit it!<33

[miyuhpapayuh]

16. Surprise guest.

"You called him what?!" Tyler sits across from Stevie with wide eyes, amusement laced all in her question.

"I— I have no regrets." She stammers, before laughing. If the quarter sized hickeys on her neck didn't give away how beautiful their night was, this extra piece of information definitely did Tyler in.

"Wow.... how does that feel?"

“I feel like god’s favorite.”

"Wow.," Tyler repeats, watching her best friend smile from ear to ear. "Ugh, I'm so jealous, but also super happy for you."

"Thanks, Ty."

The house phone rings and Stevie reaches over the arm of the couch to grab it. Her parents' number flashes across the small screen.

"Hello,"

"Hey, sweetie! How's everything?" Her mom's voice sounds through.

"Hey, ma. Everything's fine. How you been?"

"I've been good— I didn't miss the anniversary, did I? It's today, right?" Stevie giggles at how absentminded her mom can be.

"It was yesterday."

"Oh, God! I'm so sorry! I always do that."

"It's okay, ma! It's not your anniversary."

"But, I'm trying to patch things up and forgetting something important to you does not look good on my part."

"I get that, but I promise, it's totally fine. I'm not upset. Maybe, we should've started dating on the twenty-second instead of the twenty-third." Stevie jokes.

"You've got jokes, I see. How'd you spend it?"

"He took me to Coney Island!”

"Aw, you loved that place when you were younger! He's a keeper, for sure. You haven't been there since you were a little girl. I still have those pictures of you in your all pink outfit with your little hoop earrings—"

"Ma," Stevie drags out, feeling the secondhand embarrassment creep up on her neck. "Please, that's so embarrassing."

"You were like eight, Stevie. It was cute! Don't get all cool on me, now."

"Anyway! He bought me a promise ring and I bought him a chain with my name on it." Stevie gloats.

"Oh? You're turning tables, over there. How'd he react to that?"

"You know Rod... tough as nails." She shrugs like her mom can see her.

"He cried, huh?"

"Almost!" They burst into a fit of laughter, while Tyler fondly shakes her head at them.

After another ten minutes, Stevie's conversation with her mom comes to stop and she starts getting ready for work.

"Rod's picking me up, so you can use the car if you want!" Stevie shouts through her open door.

"Okay, thanks!" Tyler replies. Stevie's phone starts ringing, just as she bends down to retie her shoes. Slightly huffing, she snatched it off the dresser and answers it.

"Hello?"

"Boy, it sure is hard getting a hold of you, these days." Joe says with a laugh. Stevie sits on her freshly washed sheets and does the same.

"The grandpa everybody deserves. How you been??"

"I've been as wonderful as you are beautiful." She crinkles her nose up at his cheesiness. "How about yourself, darlin'?"

"I've been great! Sara's been keeping the old man busy with these grandkids. I tell them about you and Tyler."

"Why?" She asks with a chuckle.

"Because, they're hardheaded, just like you two were, when you first started working for me."

"Oh God. Just don't threaten to fire them, like you did Tyler."

"How's she doing?"

"She's doing so much better. I'm proud of her, really. She stopped drinking and partying for a while and has totally focused on school and her job."

"I always love to hear that. I believe in you two, so very much."

"Don't I know it. I fear disappointing you more than my own parents, sometimes."

"Better not tell them that."

"I'd do it, just for the reaction."

"Ah, well I'll let you go, dear. I just called to check on you. You have a wonderful week, alright?"

"You do the same, old man." She smiles, hanging up and dropping her phone into her shoulder bag.

She bends down and quickly fixes her shoe, before heading over to the window, watching Rod pull into the driveway.

"Bye, T!"

"Byeee!"

She heads downstairs and unlocks the door, closing it behind her. Heading down the sidewalk, she watches him pull his phone away from his face as she approaches the car.

"I was just about to call you." He says as she slides into the passenger seat, tossing her bag in the backseat.

"I saw you, when you pulled in." They meet halfway for a kiss that lingers a little longer than intended.

"I missed you." He traces the soft curve of her jaw with his thumb and index finger.

"You saw me this morning,"

"Mm, and what a sight it was." He dreamily sighs.

She feels the heat rush to her face.

"Stop, before you make me late for work."

"I haven't even done anything, yet." His minty breath and woodsy cologne throws her for a loop, almost making her miss the end of his sentence.

"Rod."

"What?" he teases, rubbing circles near her knee, "I could take you in the backseat and make you call me daddy, again."

Her eyes dart from his brown orbs to his full lips, licking her bottom one.

"I— we don't have time."

"There's always time, babygirl." He pecks her lips, repeatedly, wordlessly shutting her up. Sweet kisses turn into sensual ones, as he sucks on her bottom lip.

"What about— I get a break at two," he kisses the skin of her exposed collarbone. "You can have me, then."

"Say no more."

Tyler walks down the sidewalk and passes Rod's car, chuckling to herself as they innocently wave at her.

"Freaks."

"You're gonna break me in half, one of these days." She half jokes.

"If I recall, correctly... it's what you requested. I'd be a fool to turn you down, baby."

"Whatever you say."

"I'll drive your pretty ass to work, now." He smirks, putting his car in reverse, finally backing out of the driveway.

"Your regular, negro." He lets his head drop at her choice of a nickname for him. She slides his coffee across the counter.

"That's how you feel?"

"Hm.... for now."

"Aight, I'll straighten that out." She playfully rolls her eyes, knowing if they start going back and forth, she'll never get anything done.

"Mmhm."

"Gimme kiss."

She leans on the counter, giggling as he smooshes her cheeks together, making her resemble a fish.

"Mngh," she smacks his hand away as he puckers his lips in the same fashion, kissing her, repeatedly.

"I'll see you, later." Something flashes in his deep brown eyes, causing her thighs to clench behind the counter.

"I'm not gonna be able to walk back in here, am I?" She asks. He just laughs and pulls her left hand up to his lips.

"I could put you in a wheelchair, but I won't." His lips curl into that wicked smirk that she secretly loves. She looks away from him.

"Get out," she pulls her hand away.

"That's cool, cause I'll be in later." He winks, before backing up and heading out the door.

Stevie runs a hand over her warm neck, fixing the collar over her love bites.

"Mmhm," Claire swats Stevie's butt, "I don't even have to ask how your night was." She laughs.

A sigh comes from her. "How long do you think it's gonna last?"

"What?" Claire asks.

"Us fucking like rabbits."

"Do you want it to end?"

"No," she responds, before the question is even finished being asked. "I just don't want it to die off and then be left with nothing else, you know? We've got other interests, of course— but, that's just a really, really good one."

"It's normal to feel that way, but don't worry too much. We're young as hell! Enjoy fucking your college senior of a boyfriend, girl. Fuck him until you both can't think straight. The rest will go as right as it's supposed to." Claire assures, patting her shoulder.

"What would I do without you?”

"Turn both of us gray with all this damn worrying." She half jokes.

"Excuse me, ladies."

Cutting their conversation short, Stevie turns to face the voice of the man that sends her internally jumping out of her skin.

Sandy brown skin paired with piercing brown, muddy eyes. A big neck tat that intrigues her and smaller ones littering his knuckles. His dreads stop right at his shoulders and the smirk that graces his lips does nothing, but make her skin crawl.

"What can I get you?" She asks, wiping her hands off on her apron.

"Cappuccino, love." Her brows furrow— from the grills covering his bottom row of teeth and the choice of nickname.

"It's Stevie," she points to her name tag, earning a chuckle.

"So it is."

"$4.35." He hands her a five dollar bill and she hands him his change.

She turns sideways to make his coffee, watching him out of her peripheral, just in case he decides to do something stupid.

He might be scary looking, but I'll beat his ass.

“Hm," she hums to herself and hands him the small cup of coffee. He eyes her while picking it up, making her even more uncomfortable.

"Thanks... Stevie." He walks over to the small loveseat in the corner, still glancing her way.

She rolls her eyes and lets the chill run through her body, once he looks away.

"Gross."

"Rod would kill him." Claire mutters from beside her.

Stevie snorts, knowing that's far from a joke. "No doubt."

Alana and Rena walk inside the shop, deeply engrossed in conversation.

"Wow, Rena. It's been a month since I've seen you! I didn't even know you still worked here." Stevie says, wiping the counter down.

"I took a mini vacation. How you been? You're glowing." She smiles.

"That's what dick will do to ya," Claire interjects, causing Alana to snicker.

"I can glow without having sex, you twit."

"Of course, but sex adds an extra shine!" Alana adds.

"Ugh, anyways! I've been wonderful. I'm glad you're back, so I don't have to deal with these two, by myself."

"Are we that bad?" Claire asks.

"Yes." They all say in unison, cracking up afterwards.

Stevie sits by the window and pulls apart her cinnamon roll, staring out the window at the heavy, gray clouds.

"Stevie," Rena comes over with the telephone in her hand, outstretching it towards Stevie, "it's for you."

Wiping off her right hand on the napkin, Stevie grabs the phone, placing it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hey, baby. Lee needed me to pick up a shift, cause someone called out. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you."

Stevie frowns. "It's fine."

Rod sighs, already picturing her sad face in his head. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I'm honestly still worn out from yesterday. Don't worry about it." She laughs, making him join in.

"Alright, I'll see you later?"

"Of course."

"I love you, Vie." He says, making her blush.

"I love you too, baby."

She hangs up and places the phone on the table, sighing to herself. Biting another piece of her sweet roll, her chewing slows as her stomach starts turning.

"Mm-mm." She pushes the plate away from her and grabs the napkin, spitting into it.

She stands up and rushes towards the bathroom, throwing up everything she's eaten in the last twenty-four hours into the sink.

"Stevie, are you okay?" Claire heads behind her and holds her hair back.

"Ugh," grabbing a couple of paper towels and handing it to Stevie, she wipes her mouth. "I don't know. I just got sick all of a sudden."

"Was it something you ate?"

"Maybe? It was a dull ache, this morning, though."

"Hm.... you on your period? Sometimes, that happens."

"I'm not due for another two weeks."

"Are you on the pill?"

"No, but we've been using condoms,” she snorts, “I hate pills.”

“I feel that,” Claire laughs as Stevie goes to wash her hands. “I don't even like poppin’ a Tylenol!”

Stevie giggles at her boss, pulling her hair up and away from her sweater face.

"Uh, would it be appropriate if I asked for a ride home real quick? I need to change out of this shirt.”

"Of course not! Let me go find Alana and I'll meet you at the front, okay?"

"Okay, thank you."

Smiling, Claire leaves the bathroom. Stevie sighs and pulls herself together, soon leaving out as well.

Grabbing her bag from underneath the counter, she saunters over to the loveseat and waits for Claire.

Her ringing phone pulls a groan out of her. Rummaging through the bottom of her bag, she pulls it out and answers it, hastily.

"Yes?"

"Stevie, are you okay?" Aunt Rina's voice sounds through.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Sorry. Is everything okay?"

"Uh, well— it's your grandfather. You remember when ma first passed, he'd just sit by her favorite window and not speak to anybody?"

"Yeah..."

"He's talking, Stevie!" Her eyes widen.

"Really? What's he talking about?"

"He's going down memory lane, in here. I don't think I've ever cried or laughed so much in my life. He asked about you... when's your next visit, down here?"

"Oh, I don't know.... I'm still not ready for that."

Claire nods her head and Stevie gets up to follow her out to her car.

"Listen, I know it's been rough, since she's been gone, but you've still got us. We're still here and we'd love to see you."

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful, it's just.... she was my world."

"She was ours, too. Listen, just think about it, okay? We love you, no matter what."

"I love you guys, too. I'll call you later, okay?"

"Sure, doll."

Stevie hangs up and tosses her phone back in her bag, heavily sighing as she hits Claire's passenger seat.

"Everything okay?"

"I don't know. Today feels weird and it keeps getting weirder." She laughs as Claire pulls out of the parking lot.

Giving her directions to her place, she invites Claire in, quickly changing her shirt and brushing her teeth.

"Your room is so cute!" Stevie heads across the hall and watches Claire play with the mess of throw pillows at the head of the bed.

"Where'd you get these from?" Stevie holds her hand up and heads back into the bathroom, making sure to scrub her tongue before finishing up.

Wiping her face, she cuts her light off and walks back into her room, sitting down in her computer chair.

"I've had some of them for a while, Rod bought me that frilly pink one and then I bought some from this place called periwinkle."

"Ugh, take me shopping with you, next time." She gets up from the bed and heads over to her closet, gasping as she swipes through Stevie's clothes.

"You need a look book, heffa!" Stevie giggles, waving her off.

"I barely wear half of that shit."

"Can I have it?" Claire asks, holding a deep red dress up against her frame.

"No. I can definitely take you shopping, though. Now, come on, let's go back to work." She stands up and grabs the dress from Claire, hanging it back up.

Stevie's mom walks into Lee's hardware store and starts looking around for the stuff on the small list that Gene gave her.

Rod lifts his head up as the chimes by the door go off. "How you doin'?"

"Good. How are you?" She curtly replies, heading down an isle.

"Great. You need help finding anything?"

"Actually, yeah." He walks around the counter and walks to where she is, pausing once she makes eye contact with him.

"Oh," she starts, "well, this is awkward."

"I ain't trippin'." He shrugs.

"I never got the chance to apologize to you. I had no right to treat you like that."

"I appreciate it. Y'all had some personal stuff goin' on. I didn't take it to heart."

She tilts her head to the side and nods. "Happy late anniversary, by the way. I'm always a day late on something."

He laughs. "Thank you," he stares at the isle in front of them and looks back at her. "So, what are we looking for?"

"Well, I need to find a door seal, since my genius of a husband broke our last one."

"How?"

"He laid it down, wrong— however the hell you do that sort of thing."

"Hm," he laughs to himself and grabs a weatherproof seal. "Try this one. It's weatherproof and it's supposed to last for a lifetime. If he finds a way to break this one, you're doomed." He jokes.

"Oh, dear God." She shakes her head.

"Is he really that bad?" He asks.

"No, he just thinks he can do everything, without the help of professionals. It's endearing and frustrating." She sighs.

"I could help him install this one, if you want." He offers.

"I'm definitely taking you up on that offer, cause he is not tearing up my floors, again."

"Alright. Is that all you were looking for?"

"Yeah, I'll come get the rest, tomorrow."

"Alright, follow me." He heads back behind the counter and rings her up.

"$12.34." She pulls out her card and hands it to him. He hands it back with her receipt.

"Thank you."

"No problem, ma'am."

"Call me Victoria, son." She flashes him a smile.

He nods. "Victoria.... I'll get with Stevie and see when I can help your husband out."

"Sounds great. Have a great night."

"You too."

@ghostfacekill-monger @sheabuttahwrites @thegifstories @blackerthings @henneseyhoe @prettyisasprettydoes1306 @nahimjustfeelingit-writes @vonsbabymama2005 @neewrites @cecereads209 @nayaxwrites @blowmymbackout @soufcakmistress

[rsbigbang]

hello <3

I have never joined a fest before and I'm a bit nervous about having to adhere to a deadline. I write fic and although I only have one posted so far, I am working on three WIPs at the same time that I will post to ao3 when finished (publishing chaptered fics when the fic isn't finished yet stresses me out) but I have a very very busy life and I'm not sure I can make it work, but I really want to participate.

I know this isn't really a question per se but I was hoping maybe you had some advice about working to deadline when it comes to fic?

hi hi friend!! it is so totally fair to be nervous about this, however I cannot stress enough that the consequences for not making the deadline are, uh, VERY FEW.

Listen. We will try our darndest to wrangle and cheerlead people to the finish line, because we really want everyone who signs up to feel like they've completed their goal to the best of their ability!! we are here in the discord to offer advice on how to carve out writing time, how to write outlines, how to overcome writers block, etc etc! we WAnT everyone who signs up to finish their fic and feel proud of it! that's what makes the Big Bang so exciting!

But real life comes first, every time. (don't come at me for "real life", I know this is also real life, you know what I mean.) if you are busy offline, please please prioritize that! If you feel stressed out because you don't think you can make the deadline AND be happy with the fic..... DON'T. As soon as this is not fun, it is not the right fest. And if you don't make the writing deadline.... nothing will happen. We are not here to punish you!! you will probably still have most of a fic written!! you can still publish it on your own when it's done, or save it for the Big Bang 2024!! (which is def happening btw, we have plans)

Also, if it helps, the first fests I did were lower pressure and lower word-count (and more forgiving on timelines) than the Big Bang. That could be an easier way to write for your first fest if you're still nervous!

okay all that being said, advice on writing to a deadline below the cut

Outlining. An outline serves multiple purposes: it puts your thoughts in order, helps with structure and pacing right off the bat, AND can mean that if you're stuck on one part you can always jump ahead a few scenes and start somewhere else fresh before coming back to where you got stuck. It can also sorrrrrt of work as a schedule: "I want THIS part done by this time," etc.

Sprints. I find sprints super helpful — they are a way to get writing without the pressure of every sentence being perfect, plus they structure your time in a way that, yes, is totally artificial and unenforced, but FEELS real. They are the best way to conquer the blank page imo. Doing them with friends is extra helpful as a way to keep yourself accountable.

Carve out writing time. Literally put it into your calendar and make it an appointment. (Sounds simple but hey, we all have jobs & friends & other hobbies, I get it.) Personally I write every weekend morning at a local coffee shop, unless I'm out of town or an event is unmissable. That's pretty much all the time I can carve out reliably, but it works, and it's started to feel sacred.

Call a friend. Tell a friend (or your beta) what you want to have done by what time. Sometimes knowing that you'll have to confess to them that you haven't done it is what pushes a few more paragraphs out.

Any more advice?? Feel free to send it to our inbox!

xx molly

[myargalargan]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Thank you for the self-love encouragement, Orange! 💗

the words to keep you (which I've just finished!!🥳) is definitely my number one favorite right now. This fic has been a labor of love for nearly 3 years, and it's finally finished and edited and fully published and I'm so proud of myself for getting it done and out there. 56k words of pure Sukka pining (and thirsting 😏) and the longest, most elaborate thing I've written to date.

The Way Old Friends Do is another definite fave. Written as a gift for @boomerangguy prompted by one of his favorite tropes, I had so much fun writing it, and I have so much fun whenever I re-read it. Sukka best friends-to-lovers and a rather tame interpretation of the "only one bed" trope, I just love the way all the Gaang friendships are portrayed, all the little nuances of their interactions and their personalities. And then there's that sweet, sweet transition from the closeness and intimacy of deep friendship to the blushing heat of new romance, which has some personal significance for me as well. 😉

At Least They Don't Call Me Dumpling Weed is a special one. Another gift fic that I wrote for @pidgeapodge for a solstice exchange, the prompt asked for family fun with Suki and Sokka's kids, and somehow that catapulted me into a realm of writing way outside my usual: 1st person POV, told from the perspective of a young teen, who by the way is an OC, and which focuses primarily on her life and her relationship with her (OC) siblings and cousins and only contains little crumbs of Sukka. The whole time I was writing it I was like "what am I doing???" but I reread it recently and was super pleased with it. I love the voice of the POV character, I love her interactions with her cousin Bumi, I love the little Sukka crumbs, and I love the character development and the overall message.

the longest night's embrace is, once again, a solstice exchange gift fic and, once again, outside my usual comfort zone. And for that reason it's also special to me. This is a Kya x Hakoda x Bato fic with lots of very soft family feels, and I really enjoyed the challenge of writing not only a ship other than Sukka but a poly ship at that. I'm very happy with how it came out, how well it all works together and the delicate intimacy between all the characters. Also baby Sokka. 🥹

Infinite Limits (or Sokka and the Secret Tunnel) is...an absolutely ridiculous fic, but another one that I think is super fun. A very awkward Sukka first time fic, I love this one because of the less-than-perfect portrayal of losing one's virginity and because I think Sokka's voice in this one is so engaging and funny. I adore writing Sokka, but I definitely struggle sometimes with his style and sense of humor, and I think I did a decent job in this one.

Thanks again, friend!

[danpuff-ao3]

astrology sortme pls pls 🙏 gemini sun virgo moon leo rising, gemini mercury, aries venus, leo mars! NO i’m negative percent gryffindor DON’T say it NO I DENY IT 😂

p.s. have you seen this one before? kinda cool take on hp x astrology!

HELLO THERE MY LOVE. This is super fascinating!

Okay letsgoooooo.

Sun - Gemini - air - Ravenclaw

Moon - Virgo -earth - Huffelpuff

Rising - Leo - fire - GRYFFINDOR

Mercury - Gemini - air - Ravenclaw

Venus - Aries - fire - GRYFFINDOR

Mars - Leo - fire - GRYFFINDORRRRR

(Sorry, had to be done, you big ole Gryffindor, you <3)

(jk, I'm actually unsure if this will go Ravenclaw or Gryffindor, but let's dive in.)

Sun - the core & ego - in Gemini, an air sign. Air is intellect and socialness. Gemini is the jack of all trades. Curious, creative, playful, charming. Life of the party, wants to have fun. Collector of fun facts. Very all over, jumping from one thing to another. Accused of being flighty, but that frenetic energy is very fun and engaging; works best if one can bounce between numerous ongoing projects, but might be prone to starting a bunch of projects and leaving them unfinished. There's just so much of the world to know and see, dang it! And Gemini wants to experience as much as possible. Big Ravenclaw vibes for sure. Mild Slytherin vibes, too, maybe? If only for the idea of making connections, and perhaps ambition towards trying and learning new things. Having the opportunity to do more of what they love.

Moon - emotion & subconscious - Virgo, an earth sign. Earth is very based in the physical/material world. This also lends towards structure and a craving for security. Virgo can be critical, perfectionistic, service-oriented, organized, etc. High standards for sure. Pretty analytical. But it really speaks to this deep inner need for security. Virgo wants to have a hand in it, and feel more safe when they can keep an eye on things and quality-check. They feel best when they're looking out for and serving others. Very hard-working, proud of a job well done, pleased by productivity. Big Hufflepuff energy, but also pretty Ravenclaw vibes, I think, due to that very analytical eye and focus on rightness/correctness and knowledge, if only for the sake of comfort and security.

Leo Rising?? Same, bestie! The ascendant shows how we react to the world, and how the world perceives us. With Leo, this is bright and warm and bold. Magnetic. Eyes are drawn to Leo. Leo is creative and generous and playful. Leo is also very loyal. Leo is king, a benevolent king, one who cares for their kingdom and the people in it. One willing to fight for what's right. Big Gryffindor energy, of course, but also bits of Hufflepuff there, too.

Leo Rising makes the sun the chart ruler, so your Gemini Sun gets a bit of a boost. For this reason, I'll also note the dispositor of the sun. Sun sign is Gemini, Gemini ruled by Mercury, so Mercury is the dispositor of the sun. Mercury gets a boost from all the Mercurial energy in the sun. And Mercury?? Is in GEMINI. WHERE IT IS DOMICILE???? I love that, how beautiful.

(Fun fact but it's the same for me. Leo Rising, sun chart ruler. Sun in Taurus, Taurus ruled by Venus, Venus dispositor of the sun. Venus in Taurus, where it is domicile. Very cool imo!)

So: Mercury is information. How we learn, and how we communicate. In Gemini, so this feels very chaotic in a way. Sort of all over. Very enthusiastic about new information, new experiences and new people. Too much to see, too much to do! They have their hand in all the pies. Gemini Mercury speaks to a good humor. Very charming. Knows how to talk to people, and likes talking to people. Very engaging. A lot to contribute to any conversation or event. Good with writing, I imagine. Mercury = communication, language, expression, ties into writing, and being domicile...probably has a lot of the Gemini flavor, so pretty playful and fun and probably full of fun facts and details that are Gemini's focus of the moment. Big Ravenclaw energy. Bits of Slytherin energy, too, I think, if only for being so suave and capable of getting what they want.

Then...another case of Mars being farther from the sun than I usually see! (Listen, I know it's possible, but most charts I examine Mars is closer so this is fun to see Venus and Mars in the same element but different signs!) So: Venus, the planet of love and pleasure; Mars, the planet of action and drive and sexuality. Both in fire signs, which means big passion and energy. Aries is a cardinal sign (forward-moving, take-charge) and Leo is fixed (stubborn, steady.) Aries is the warrior (Mars), Leo is king (sun.) Aries is the ram, Leo the lion.

So how does this play out specifically?

Venus is the realm of relationships and hobbies. What do we enjoy? What do we love? What's our aesthetic? Whatever we find pleasing. What we find beautiful. In Aries, Venus loves the chase. Aries is also pretty blunt and direct. Aries Venus says "cut to the chase: what do you want here?" Aries is magnetic and lively. Competitive and impulsive. Aries Venus wants adventure! They want to explore with their friends or partners, be it traversing new lands, or even new ideas. Very try new things. Very enthusiastic and optimistic. Very putting yourself out there and trying new things. Big Gryffindor energy, but bits of Slytherin vibes, too. It's that aggression and determination and going for what it wants...a bullheaded Gryffindor, maybe, or a clever Slytherin that jumps in without thought, and then gets to work to figure out where they are and what they're doing. Resourceful, self-preserving, clever.

Then Leo Mars. Mars is what drives us. So...what are we going to war for? What matters enough for us to fight for? What do we care about so much that it's what's pushing us ahead? In Leo it's craft and play. It's self-expression! Leo wants to be seen and heard; it wants to play and laugh; it wants to create and proudly show off what they've done. It's attracted to (sexuality) those who inspire them, those who they have fun with, those who see them. Big Gryffindor vibes! But also like I stated in the rising section...soft Puff vibes, too.

You have more planets in fire signs, so that would normally tip it into Gryffindor territory. Buuut...your Mercury is super-powered and that Gemini vibe is STRONG. This feels very fun. You know how Hermione is quite Ravenclaw for a Gryffindor? You're like the opposite. Lots of creativity and wisdom all super-charged by mega-fire energy. Your battery is all juiced up and ready to GO GO GO, baby. So yeah...you have LOTS of Gryffindor points, I'm afraid, but I'm still giving the win to

RAVENCLAW!

P.S. I have seen that! But AGES ago, I forgot it existed!! Thanks for bringing it back to my attention :D

[dixbolik-lovers]

How do you have the motivation to write so consistently? ;-; I've been writing for almost nine years, but it's so difficult for me to continuously write. I'm normally able to only do it in bursts of inspiration, otherwise it feels like a chore, which makes no sense because I looooove writing. Ugh, please guide me, you're amazing 🙏 what's your writing process like?

In my case, I think it's the autism. >.> Whether I feel like writing or not (in terms of "inspiration", which I rarely ever have these days), if I am not Doing The Words, I get very distressed. I used to think it was just discipline/a serious workaholic personality, but I'm pretty sure those factors are only part of why my writing habits are like this.

Stories and writing are how I process my existence. Everything I do is somehow connected to writing for me. There's hardly a moment where I'm not somehow thinking about it. And I've started to figure out.. I don't think that's how it works for most people???

As for what advice I can give you, I think it depends on how serious you are. If you're writing just because it's fun, keep it that way. There's nothing wrong with following your bursts of inspiration if that's what works for you. If you're trying to make writing more of a Serious Thing, then you just have to do it. Whether it feels like a chore or not, building a habit and getting practice means Doing The Words even when you feel no motivation at all.

So long as you find room for what is fun for you, sticking to it even when the process sucks is how you come out better on the other side. It does turn writing into more of a job/obligation, so as I said, the worth in this method heavily depends on how serious you are.

I've tracked my daily/yearly wordcounts for the last few years, with an exception this year because I need to do more planning/plotting things, and that really helped. Setting (reasonable) goals and doing your best to stick to them is how you build a habit. And you'll feel super proud of yourself when you tough it out!

Good luck, anon!! And feel free to DM me if you want to talk writing stuff— I'd be happy to offer more in-depth support. :D

[jojolovenotes]

Hi! Sorry to bother you, I know your inbox is probably super swamped with heavy stuff so I’ll keep it brief,

Could I please get a love note from Alessi for a male reader? Im currently just feeling a little low due to my autism/health issues making it difficult to maintain a job/relationship. Silly stuff like motor skill difficulties, brain fog, and socialization issues mostly :,) got me feeling a little stupid

Thanks for reading hope you have a lovely day <3

Hello! Oh it's no bother at all! ;w; I might take a little bit of time responding to certain asks, but I always reply whenever I can. Here you go! ;w;

Hey cutie,

What's been going on lately, handsome? It sounds like you've got a lot on your mind lately. You know sometimes everything seems to be going wrong all at once, and it just makes you wanna scream. Actually sometimes I gotta go find somewhere quiet to scream - it actually helps to release a lot of stress. Please don't feel stupid, cause you aren't. You're going through a lot - and people handle feeling overwhelmed differently but it shouldn't make you feel stupid. Just know no matter what it is you're going through I'll be right here with you... Maybe we just need to spend some time together.

Is there something you enjoy doing? Selfcare is important... I always thought that was kinda silly, but I realized it actually works. It really helps to take some time to focus on yourself and to help to try to find time to relax. You're doing the best you can - don't sell yourself short. Man... I'm not really good at this motivational stuff, but I'm really proud of you. You do so much every day, and that can be overwhelming. Just celebrate the little victories, don't forget that. Oh, and always remember I'm here cheering you on!

Love,

Alessi

[atmymercy]

hii tea, how are you doing?

i woud love to participate in ur giveaway, also this one is super fun but have soooooo many music in this world that i got confused and indecisive so i will choose more than one for you... sorry i hate choose 1 thing i always got indecisive T.T

could be super wrong, but I have a perception that you are like the high priest because I see that you are kind to people and your writing is witty and fun, but you seem to me to have very intense energy,I can't explain it but you have something intense (like bjork vibe maybe loll?) that contrasts with your gentle aura like... nothing bad but i don't know how to explain... I think you know how to protect yourself!

I hope you can read it.. I don't know if the quality of the image has dropped a lot)

--

so my tarot question is: I would like to ask what my future boo's passion is that he is pursuing, you once said that he's following a passion it's costing him a lot and and I'm curious about that 👀

xoxooxoxox

P 🐇

hello p! princess p! i'm doing great! i hope you are too! and no worries! i don't mind if you send it a couple! i can get like that too so i get it! lol plus there's so much brilliant music out there! and i can't get enough of it! lol

and you're not wrong at all, honey! you are pretty much spot on! look at you following your intuition and reading my vibes! aww i'm so proud! though omg what's a bjork vibe? teach me! lol and i totally get it! i've been told that before and i l like to think of it as a compliment! a natural dark to my light! lol ps i'm so saving these! omg! thank you! no i really want a printer so i can print out cute stuff like this! omg!

for you and your moonology card (i read your other ask! ty!).

ah! i see! so that passion that is costing him so much right now? it looks very justice-orientated! most likely a police officer! i don't know how you feel about cops but it would seem that this passion is costing him a lot and making him feel very lonely yet busy out there! but why did he go into this? because he believes in keeping people safe and cared for. he may act like he's really hard but he's got all soft insides! lol but this passion is costing him because this is not a job to let your pride get the best of you and yet we all know what cops are trained to be like right now... so this is taxing on his mental health by having to fight his ego and pride in this job while trying to honor and respect people. plus fighting to feel good enough in all of this but don't worry too much about this! your spirit guides are reassuring that this will end in a win-win forecast. i see he either finds another job in this field or creates real change in the force. it matters how his heart decides but seeing as it hasn't yet, spirit doesn't want to say. lol

hope you enjoyed it! please give feedback or buy me a coffee when you can! also please tell your friends if you enjoyed this! if you want to explore this further, please consider a private read as well. also thank you for sharing with me!♡

love & light!

-tea

as always, my rules & info are in my pinned post if you're interested in a reading of your own!

[cinnamonest]

Head empty.... Only thoughts are of ditzy airheaded lamb-girl darling... Literally too spaced out to survive on their own. God please give me more details on that I'm begging you

I went overboard with this lol I hope you enjoy anon, I actually have had several reqs for more lambgirl/Scara content bc apparently you guys really liked that one which was a pleasant surprise lol. I love the dynamic between an extremely airheaded, absent-minded dumbass that just wants to be loved like a lambgirl and someone of Scara's personality, it works so well and comically at the same time.

Also me? Making something that actually ends kind of sweet? More likely than you think!

Also also "do sheep have heats" is now present in my google search history

-------------------------

It's no wonder most cultures made shepherding a full-time job, if you don’t watch them, sheep will find a way to get themselves killed. They're clumsy, clunky, tend to knock things over, and generally just kinda zone out half the time, staring off into space. That being said, they can be clingy, actually, if they know you well enough, they'll just kinda go wherever you go, munching on what they can all the while. Nonetheless, lambs are very loving and can be super affectionate, no matter what -- again, simple minded. Their brain merely knows, this person is my master, and I love my master! That's all they need to know. And sheep hybrids are no different.

For poor Scara's lambgirl, he'd never admit that he likes that about you, but he subtly... encourages your tendencies. He sees it as your nature... a simple creature that knows who it belongs to and doesn't question it, only follows behind loyally, and really, that's the way things should be. So he doesn't ever discourage you from following, it comes naturally to little lambgirl -- when he stands up, you do too, and follow behind without a word, although he'll gesture, which is how you get a lot of communication. And when you do follow, he doesn't snap at you the way he does when you don't, so you know that it's the right thing, what you're supposed to do.

Because also, sometimes your poor, poor dumb little mind can forget a lot of words. It's a known trait about lamb hybrids, and yet another reason why people tend to neglect their kind -- they sometimes revert to the most simple of states, becoming nonverbal, and may struggle to understand words, and take time to process them. For someone who, according to that one Fatui agent, doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut, he actually adjusts to the nonverbal fairly easily, view it as a good thing that you have synched so well to what's expected.

It's all standard for humans, but you know without ever being taught, you can sense what he wants. Despite the apathetic facial expressions and lack of even looking at you, you know, a little "come hither" gesture of the finger tells you to get closer, a pat to the thigh means to sit on his lap, a thumb on your lips and and a lazy downward nod means get on the floor and suck him off. You learn quickly, you're proud of yourself for doing so.

And little lambs are, best of all, so dumb they have no idea when they're being blatantly manipulated, or Pavlov'ed, in such a direct and obvious way that not even the dumbest of hybrids besides them would fall for it. He likes that about you. The only thing he likes more than that, that heavily ties into that... is that lambs crave affirmation, affection, praise. Lambs love, and they want to feel loved, they'll do anything for it. So he makes you scramble and bend over backwards for the very, very, very rare occurance that is a word of praise (if it can be called that -- it's usually more like a backhanded compliment), or an affectionate gesture. And he uses the inverse -- cold neglect -- to manipulate and condition you.

Which is easy -- you see, in your... limited intellectual capacity, two words have supreme ruling over your self-esteem and your entire emotional state: good and bad. More complex words don't have quite the impact as those two, since you understand good and bad as very simple concepts, the rest you kind of have to think about, and thinking is not your strong suit. "Good" and "bad" have obvious, easy to grasp, powerful meanings to you, and a significant impact. So he makes use of those words quite a bit -- the way your face lights up and your ears perk up when he tells you you've been good, and the way your eyes fill with little tears and your ears fall flat against your head when he snarls that you're bad. You don't want to be a bad lamb, do you? No, you want to be good. Master calling you good is the highest honor, the greatest pride your brain can conceive of, and you work day in and day out to earn it. So when you've been bad, and are told to sleep on the floor, sit on the floor by his feet, when you get no pats to the head or fingers absent-mindedly running through the wool of your ears -- when you're deprived of touch, affection -- it's cruel and hurts in the deepest of ways. And likewise, earning that privilege back, being told you can sleep in the bed again, sit on his lap again, when you get the touches back, it fills you with joy, even if he tells you the little bleats of happiness are annoying. He treats it like a privilege too -- you've learned your lesson, he says, so he thinks he can stand the sight of you again enough to let you back to being closer.

And corporeal punishment is the only form of behavior enforcement you understand, so it's a given that he goes overboard with it -- gets you to associate it with bad. Good lambgirls get crumbs of affection, rare words of slight praise, bad lambgirls get bent over the desk and belted so hard they can't sit right. Again, you want to be good, and the physical pain is just there to remind you why. He also likes to grab you by the tail -- it's obnoxious, he says, always twitching and wiggling, and he gets some entertainment out of catching you off-guard and making you let out those shrill little baa's of surprise.

All that being said, lambs are... easily distracted. Lambgirl darling's fuzzy little ears perk up over a sound off in the distance, and while he's not looking you end up wandering down the hall of the big, maze-like Fatui building... you never find the source, but suddenly you find yourself very lost and very alone without Master and you panic, sniffling as tears come rolling down your face and bleating in distress, desperately trying to find your way back, eventually crumbling to the floor and just bleating all the while. It's through that bleating he eventually finds you, or perhaps you draw the attention of others who then come inform him where you are -- furious at your disappearance and being made to waste time looking for you, but even he of all people can't quite bring himself to kick you when you're down, so to speak -- you're already blubbering and crying and you come running to him once you see him, so he just barks at you about how stupid you were, how you made him waste his time, how you should feel lucky he even bothered coming to look for you.

He wouldn't tell you how badly he panicked when he looked up and you weren't there, mind running over all the possible ways your dumbass might have gotten yourself hurt in such a short time. And the other agents know better than to let you in on how he more or less summoned the entire present forces to demand they drop everything they were doing and search until you were found. He just insists that your collar needs a cowbell, one that's loud and clear that will signal when you're moving. Next time you get distracted, he'll hear the cowbell rattle when you stand up, and snap at you to sit your ass back down or else.

 

And speaking of the others, most of the time he's never certain when someone is going to come barging in, since half of these worthless dimwits, as he calls the people he works with, don't think to knock. You two once learned that the hard way and now you have to lock the door before you blow him at work. In front of other people, he's definitely not going to show you the slightest bit of attention, and avoids it at work in general, but occasionally allows you a headpat here or there. You seem to really like those, he thinks. Your little eyes close and you tilt your head, longingly leaning into the touch. It's your instinct.

And archons help anyone that dares harm or even insult you in any way. You're occasionally, as aforementioned on the hybrid post, allowed to run errands or perform simple tasks for others. You've fucked up a lot, actually, but he only tells you you fucked up if it's a task or assignment for him. If it's with other people, regardless of whether you performed the task correctly or not, he says it was good. This has... not resulted in good things for some of the other members. You hand them something blatantly wrong or clearly made an error, and they open their mouth to chastise you, but stop short at the death glare sent their direction -- he mutters that you did good, rubs your head... and adds a right? to the end of it, looking up at the poor victim of your forgetfulness. Adds through gritted teeth to "tell her she did a good job you dumbfuck." And they always do. You're happy to have earned the approval of the others, they're all really nice to you, for some reason, even though they look oddly nervous when they're talking to you. When they come to him later in private to complain because there was a serious mistake that will cost them time and money, they're just met with an apathetic "Deal with it."

He doesn't let anyone have supervision over you, though, not anymore. In the beginning, he used to every now and then, when he had something important to do, tell some subordinate to watch you in his absence. Can't have you running off. They never watched you very closely, though, and one time you got too curious and rummaged through various things and shelves and objects and, well, you overturned a shelf that came crashing down on you -- cut you badly, broke a bone, and the guy in charge of watching you had decided to go waste time elsewhere, and so by the time Master got back, you were still there on the floor, trapped under it, sniffling and crying and letting out the most pathetic and soft of bleats, whimpering Master over and over. You don't remember much after it was pulled off of you, there was yelling and clanging as objects were being hurled across the room, but you never saw that other agent again. And now, he never leaves you under someone else's care.

Behind closed doors -- in the comfort of living quarters -- he's still... himself, but not quite as mean. The rubs are longer, the praise feels more like actual praise. When you go to bed at night, provided you've earned your right to sleep beside him, you might summon the courage to ask how you were today -- a careful question, with only two possible answers that you could understand, but your spirit will be uplifted or shattered by the response, so it weighs heavily on you, as you spend every waking moment aiming for one answer. He'll act irritated that you'd ask, it's a stupid question, but that's expected coming from a stupid creature, he says. But nonetheless he'll reassure you, in an agitated mutter that, at least for today, you were good. Maybe one day, a little lambgirl can only dream, your master might even say he loves you.

You think about that a lot when you're getting fucked, because sex is a part of love, right? Maybe you're working towards that, so you give it your all, you ride well and suck well and do every little thing you're commanded to do. Even when the ropes and clamps and the hands on your throat hurt. In fact, you think you've started to like it. Your body has started to respond to the pain, your insides clench at the thought. You feel bad about the heats, since you're wasting Master's time, but as he says, someone has to take care of you (which isn't true, you think -- he could just leave you to suffer. Maybe he doesn't know that? Surely if he knew that he wouldn't waste time taking care of you, right?). Sheep heats last quite a while, too, and you feel bad for being so lewd, bleating with your ass up in the air and whimpering, but he doesn't seem to hate it too much, since he fucks you throughout it, even takes a few days to do work from home. Grabs onto your big wooly ears like handlebars and fucks into you from behind. He says the bleating is annoying... but when you tried to hold it back, he told you he didn't say you could stop. You don't want to annoy him, but you don't want to do something you weren't told to, either... whatever earns his love.

Yes, you want to be loved. But could you ever earn such a thing? Do you deserve it? Could you ever deserve it? You're not sure. Master's love seems like such an honor, such a wonderful thing it would be unreal. That's why, when you finally summon the courage to ask, for once your brain works in a rather complex, roundabout sort of way. When you sit up in the middle of the night and nudge him awake, hovering over him in the dark, you don't ask if he loves you, instead you ask do you think could you ever love me? It's the most complex thought you've ever had, probably, because you know you're too afraid of rejection to ask outright, and this way he's more likely to say yes, and even if he doesn't love you now, a "yes" means you can work towards it, right?

So the resulting silence and the scrunched up, irritated facial expression, after a moment, makes a sort of pain and shame spread through your chest, and you wish you hadn't asked, but before you can apologize he just says that I wouldn't keep your worthless, useless ass around and would've kicked you back out on the street a long time ago if I didn't, shut up, go the fuck to sleep and don't wake me up for your stupid questions. Slams your body back down onto the bed -- facing away from him, your back to his chest, so you can't see his face. It's not a direct answer, but you don't need one -- for once, you were smart enough to understand. He just huffs in irritation when your stumpy little puffball tail wiggles around with joy, tells you to stop it so he can sleep.